A Cup of (Decaf) Coffee with Jules Allan, Sober Curious Yoga Teacher
In this episode, I sit down with Jules Allen, one of our Sober Curious Yoga teachers and community members! Jules' approach to yoga is focussed on creating a safe and welcoming space; gentle, accessible, joyful, intuitive, creative, mindful, nourishing and restorative. Everything Jules offers is an invitation, we explore in the class what works for our bodies and minds in the moment.
In this episode, learn about Jules - and the role that Sober Curious Yoga and yoga in general has played in managing her physical health and mental health.
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Catch Jules for classes on the MLPC. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/live-schedule.
Full episode
Transcript
Intro
Welcome to the "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast with Alex McRobs, international yoga teacher and sober coach. I broke up with booze for good in 2019.And now I'm here to help others do the same. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how.
Alex
Alright. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of "Sober Yoga Girl". I am really, really excited today because I have a guest on the show who has been a huge part of the Mindful Life Practice community since almost the beginning, maybe a few months after we started. I have Jules Allan here with me, and she likes to go by creative adventurer and Jules join on the Mindful Life Practice and she attends classes as every day. So if you have been to any of Mindful Life Practice classes. I'm sure you have met her and she actually teaches for us, so she runs some of our sober classes. So welcome so much. That's a weird thing to say. Welcome Jules.
Jules
Thank you so much.
Alex
So happy to have you here.
Jules
Oh, the muchness. Thank you.
Alex
So let's start out. I was wondering if you could give me a little bit of context into telling me about yourself. So who you are and where you're from.
Jules
Okay. So can I just say this is my first ever podcast? So I'm a little bit excited and a little bit pull my pants. And so who knows what words are going to come out of my mouth today. So I'm hoping they'll make some kind of sense. So my name's Jules and I'm from Bristol, which is like in the southwest of the UK. And I am 48. I live with my partner and his two children, and I am so grateful. I'm beyond grateful for the Mindful Life practice. I'm not saying that in like, a sort of cheesy way. I'm genuinely, like we've all been through lockdown and COVID and numerous lockdowns. And for me, the community and the classes have just been such an anchor. They really have. It's like having, I don't know, all these different people around the world being able to be in my living room and sometimes in my conservatory and sometimes even in bed, which is you know, sharing it with the world. But yeah, I've been practicing yoga for a really long time and I was really missing it. I was really missing that connection and being with people and sharing yoga practice. So for me, finding the community sort of I think it was, yeah. A couple of months into lock down, is just, it was, yeah, it was like a light house. So yeah, I genuinely mean, I think you know, it's having that structure has kept me steady.
Alex
And we're so happy you're part of it. Honestly, it wouldn't be the same without you and some of these people I think about, I'm like, what would my life be like without Jules? Like I don't know when you're not. I notice when you're not there. Sometimes I stay out loud. You probably heard me in the on demand classes. Being like, this is weird that Jules is not here. Jules usually.
Yeah. I do like to attend all the different classes. Sometimes in the camera off, because sometimes I'm just, like lying on the mat, having a little kick or have a little cry and sometimes I'm wobbling. Actually, most of the time I'm wobbling. But yeah, I think what I love is just all the different types, like just trying it like I've never done hit yoga and bar and things like that. My kind of yoga tends to be sort of like sleepy sleep yoga.
Alex
Yeah.
Jules
So to try all of them and to feel like safe as well, to come to classes and just know that if I'm needing to show the camera off and have a little cry or, I don't know, have a cup of tea whilst I'm doing it, I can do that. Whereas, you know, in regular yoga classes, I don't think I could get away with a cup up and a sleep.
Alex
Yeah, exactly. So I was wondering if you could give me a bit of context into how you started drinking.
Jules
Okay. I would say that my childhood, unfortunately, was very dysfunctional and I had a lots of trauma in my childhood. And I learned early on different numbing techniques, different ways to just not be present. And I would say that two of the main sort of things that helped me, you know, they were tools at the time was creativity, but also alcohol. And I think I started drinking very early. It was definitely in my very early teens and I drank because I really loved it. I loved being numb. I loved being out of it. I was very introverted inside that alcohol gave me extroversion. It gave me what I thought was confidence. It was my friend. And I just found that alcohol was one of those things when I was younger, when I wasn't able to deal with a lot of emotions that were happening because of family dynamics. It enables me to escape. But coupled with that was also creativity. So I think that's why creativity and alcohol and also now yoga has been very synchronic. I can't say the word synchronicity. And so that was sort of I guess my duck shadow was using alcohol. And my light aside, use creativity and playfulness. Yeah. I used it early on. And it was something that I used throughout my teenagers, my 20s, my 30s. And it wasn't until I hit 40 that I went, oh, I need to address this. I think it was. Yeah. I think it was one I hit for safe.
Alex
And I think so many people can relate to that. I know I can definitely in terms of you know, using it as a coping mechanism. And I was also a very creative individual. Right. And so I think I had these two sides of me and I think a lot of people could probably relate to that, too, because it does numb you out. Which is-- I had a podcast cast she said you know, it was a coping strategy and it worked for a while.
Jules
Yeah.
Alex
You know, and I could totally relate to that.
Jules
Yeah. I completely relate. It was in my toolkit. My toolkit was lots of creative stuff. And I didn't necessarily know it was about well being, but the creativity kept me well, that the alcohol is definitely a coping strategy. And I would be like quite blatant about that and say, you know, there the weapon cope us by having a genetonic and dust wine bottle and what have you-- and it was like a badge of owner. And you know, especially I think my generation, we're in our 40s and we did lots of partying and raving. And there was the lad a culture and a lot of young girls and women. It was that-- it was you know, it was the thing to do was to get pissed and yeah, to definitely keep up with the boys. I've definitely would be out and drinking as much as my boyfriend. And I was like, half the size of them I'm a five foot. So I feel like swallowing myself with beer and gin and wine and I'm thinking that was a good thing.
Alex
Yeah. Well, in a culture that's so normalized alcohol. And someone was commenting to me the other day, I can't remember who it was was saying. You know, I've noticed so many of your podcast guests are coming out of the UK. And the UK is one of our biggest like we have Eastern Standard Time, we have you know, some people in the Middle East, and then we have the UK. And I think that's really interesting and probably really reflective of the drinking culture there.
Jules
Yeah. I would say it was mark a passage. It was you know--
Alex
Right.
Jules
When your a teenager, it was just completely normal. You would have been weird if you didn't drink and it was normal to get stay drunk, that you'd back out. That was just normal amongst teenagers. It wasn't like, oh, I'm gonna have a glass of wine--
Alex
Right.
Jules
It was you know, really potent, disgusting drinks, which you know, I remembered mixing beer inside of black currants and making concoctions. And that was like our taster before we went out clubbing. And yeah, that was just completely normalized. You know, in my 20s and my 30s. And then unfortunately, I think there's a really big culture around women when they get into the 30s and 40s, when women have babies and children and you'll bit stressed and have your glass of wine. And you know, there's a whole culture around that around. It's completely acceptable to get drunk on a Friday night if you have a nice wine glass and a nice posh bottle of wine. So you know, it changed from really bad drinks as a teenager to posh bottles of wine but that's acceptable. That's acceptable face of, you know, big drinking. And I think there's a lot of women that are out there that maybe had children or are, you know, in high powered jobs or just finding jobs really stressful. And you get to your 40s and it's accepted that we go around and have drinks--
Alex
Yeah.
Jules
And that was seen as a coping mechanism. And it's you know, just it's really not.
Alex
Right. And there's so much pressure on women in general. You know, it's almost like there's like, a superwoman thing of like. Be the parents, have the career, do it all. And with nowhere to turn to, that can be the thing to turn to.
Jules
Completely. You know, I see it in myself and I see it in so many friends who unfortunately lose their identity and lose what they care about. What they're passionate about and lose a sense of who they are because they're so busy. You know, again, it's another badge of honor is the busy. I used to carry it. People would say, how are you? And I go, I'm busy, really busy. Is though again, that's a good thing to be busy and exhausting. And yeah, I saw it in myself and that whole wanting to be a super, I even remember saying to people, I want to be a superhero. And, you know, I got to 40 and just went, I don't want to be a superhero anymore.
Alex
Yeah, time to tend to practice self care. So what was the-- we kind of talked a little bit about your increase in alcohol consumption over time. Where was the turning point for you when you wanted to or when you started your sober journey?
Jules
So I hit 40.
Alex
Yeah.
Jules
And I had the stereotypical midlife breakdown. It was inevitable, really. It was inevitable. I've been working hard really hard. Like seven days a week, completely burnt out. My face is to melt because I was so exhausted.
Alex
Right.
Jules
And I would top myself up with drink with wine on a Friday and a Saturday night because I saw it as I deserve it. I deserve to get pitched because I've worked so hard. I deserve it. And unfortunately, at the age of 40, I had a breakdown. I say, unfortunately, but I actually mean fortunately because it changed my life. It completely woke me up and I hate to say and everything began to unravel or the person that I thought I was in the armor that I was wearing and I'm a warrior. It just all fell apart and I had to leave my job. I had to leave so many things, but I had to leave myself. And even though I look back at my old self and I love her, I love my old self. I also love who I am now on what I'm becoming and finding out who I am now. And I think , so I'm 48. So it's taken me eight years of exploring sobriety and healing and I do sober January. And then it is the last day, you know, sober January at a line at my gin bottles and I'd be like, oh, I'm really deserving of this gin cause I've just spent a month being sober, sorting my heads out. Good idea to get pissed at the end of the month. And again, that's a normal. You know, we do join January and sober October in Britain with the idea of definitely for me and others to get pitched at the end. And it's like, no, no, no. I wanted to explore further so I would tally in it. Tilly tally over the, you know, last couple of years. And then it was the last day of 2019, and it was new year's eve. And I was deciding to do another dry January. And in the morning, I woke up and just went, I think I'm done. I mean, I'm done. And it was a really clear mark in my head. It was like when I stopped smoking. When I stopped smoking, I was just like, yeah, I'm done now. I smoke loads don't need to smoke anymore. And I sort of felt that with alcohol, it was yeah, I don't think I need to drink anymore. I don't know why I'm doing this. And I had, you know, decreased and decreased and decreased over the years. And I've been moderating. And then I just thought, I don't actually need it. So it's been 20 months. 20 months of being alcohol free, and it has been an adventure.
Alex
Congratulations.
Jules
Thank you.
Alex
And I honestly just got shivers when you said you just had this feeling of you were done, because I can kind of relate that a little bit. I mean, I didn't know that I was quitting forever when I quit, but it was I could never do a dry January. I would look at people doing a dry January and be like, I could never, ever do that. And so the idea of me committing to a month alcohol free was massive. But there was this big feeling with certainty of like I was-- it was like the same kind of feeling of certainty. But it was like, I'm done for a month. It was not like I'm done forever. And I think there are certain, like, there are different kinds of people. And it sounds like I really connected. Like, we're similar in that regard is just rip the band aid off, but it takes you a while to get to that point. And then when you rip it off, you're like, okay it's done. Throw that away.
Jules
Yeah. I think that's really true. And I think a lot of people when you become alcohol free. You don't see the background. You don't see the steps leading up.
Alex
Yep.
Jules
And I think that sometimes you know, if you're out there saying I'm alcohol free and you say I'm 20 months. People are like, oh, wow, that's great. And how you just did it like that. And it's like, no. No, there was many, many years. And, you know, I look back at journals, and most of my journals say