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"Think About How You Want to Leave a Legacy" with Jay Chase of Don't Touch My Mindset

I sat down today with Jay Chase. Jay is a speaker, host of the Don’t touch my mindset podcast and a character development coach. He helps individuals in active recovery from substance misuse disorder manage destructive emotions and habits to maintain sobriety. In this inspiring episode Jay shares his story with recovery and the work he does now as a professional podcaster and inspirational speaker for those in recovery.

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You can discover more about Jay's work at: Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at


Alex: Hi friend this is Alex McRobbs founder of the Mindful Life Practice and you're listening to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world to the Middle East at age 23 and I never went back. I got sober in 2019 and I now live full-time in Bali, Indonesia. I've made it my mission to help other women around the world stop drinking, start yoga and change their lives through my online sober girls yoga Community. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling, let me show you how.


Alex: All right good morning or afternoon or evening everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Sober Yoga Girl. I am super excited for this episode, it's actually my first episode that I've recorded in a few months so I kind of took a few months off of recording episodes and was kind of chilling out and I'm finally back on it again and I'm really excited to be sitting here with Jay Chase and Jay had me on his podcast like way back. I want to say it was like maybe January or February. So that was the first time we met and it's been however many months six seven months and I am just so excited to get to sit down and kind of flip the tables around and and get to interview him and hear his story with sobriety and he's doing some pretty amazing work in his community and online helping others in the sober world so, I'm just really excited to hear more about that.

Jay: Hello hello yo, I'm super excited to be here. One, I was, I was talking to my team and I was like yeah I gotta interview uh six a.m in the morning, they're like 6 a.m in the morning and I was like yeah it's on uh the Sober Yoga Girl and they're like the Sober Yoga Girl? I was like yeah, let's, I was like, let's make it rock so I'm super excited to be here, I'm super excited.

Alex: amd these time zones, so it's 6 a.m for you it's 7 P.M for me so we're 11 hours apart which is wild.

Jay: Yeah. Oh man yeah, it's it's good though I'm like at least I'm grateful to be here you you are a complete inspiration to me and um. So, any way that I can support you um, trying to add some value um and maybe I might learn some things. I might learn some things so I'm excited about this conversation.

Alex: Oh amazing. So, I was wondering if we could start out by you kind of giving the audience a little bit of insight into who you are and your kind of Journey with substance use.

Jay: Absolutely, absolutely. So, I help individuals who suffer from substance use disorder. Uh, manage destructive emotions and habits uh to maintain their sobriety. I'm a professional speaker, podcaster, coach um and I've been sober now for five and a half years. So over five and a half years, yeah. It's almost six years, almost six years we are rocking it's fun. Um, my sobriety Journey actually wasn't my choice. It wasn't my choice um, I was I was deep into it and there was I didn't see any daylight. I didn't see any light, I didn't see a problem and uh but I I kept getting into trouble with the authorities. I said I would get arrested, I'd be getting too drunk, I had like two DUIs by the age I was, I want to say 21. Before I was even 21 I had two DUIs and um and it just didn't seem like a problem to me because of the I would want to say the community that was exposed to me at the time. Um, just four colleges in this town so everybody's always partying and um I fell into that. I fell into that where I was always going out like, I was going out Monday through Sunday. Yeah Sunday through Sunday, Monday through Monday but every night there's there's a bar that we were at and um and I of course I was on probation for you know my DUIs and everything that I was doing and raising havoc um and I actually let it stopped into my probation officer I was just like yo I just stopped reporting to her and um and so I think I had a warrant out for my arrest and uh there's one that I was drinking at the bar I got too drunk I had no argument and um I woke up in jail so and I pressed the little buzzer because I had no clue what I did or how I got there and I pressed a little buzzer and I said what's my bond and they said no bond Mr Chase and I said no bond? What, what's the charges? They said probation college and I said okay. I I can live with that at least I know what I'm what, I'm walking into. I didn't like murder somebody or you know do something awful and um and that was the last time I drank it was February 5th 2017 so it definitely wasn't by choice um because after that it was 26 days in jail and then actually did six months in prison um which was like a 120 shock that the judge gave me to like scare me and I want to say it worked because I haven't drank since so.

Alex: Wow what a story and how old were you when that happened?

Jay: Uh, I turned 24 in prison.

Alex: Wow. Oh my Goodness. What was that experience like?

Jay: Um, awful. It was, it was awful but like. So one, the entire time that I thought the way I um I didn't reach out to any of my family. I didn't reach out to anybody who's close to me. So, I actually didn't talk to anybody um and then I was in a Cell in a box you know a concrete box for the majority of my day. I didn't have any freedoms but you know my choices and actions got me there to that to that level. Um, I mean just from the moment that we got there like I mean it's like strip down and like sprays down like Lysol and like a hose just before we enter prison like it was it was, it was pretty degrading so lesson learned right.

Alex: Wow. Oh My Goodness and, and that was enough to just kind of start you on your, your sobriety Journey.

Jay: You know the weird thing is that with who I was and how I was raised in my behavior style in my past traumas that I was exposed to but this goes, this isn't just me as in this is this is my father's problems, my father's father's problem, this was my father's father's father's father's problem and that wasn't enough to scare me. I've been to jail, I went to jail like four times before that. I went to jail for like three days and then seven days ten days, I was there for like 15 days. There was one time I was in like a work release program for like 30 days and it wasn't and it wasn't it was like okay, I'm guilty served my consequence, go back to doing what I was doing. It was the same cycle and um so that alone wasn't enough to scare me to but it was the character development that I did while I was away, while I was by myself that I was like yo, Jay you got to take control bro like this is like this is not how you want to live your life.

Alex: And what was that character development like? What practices did you do?

Jay: You know, it's a lot of journaling and first first things first I went I went inward like um I I established a connection with my higher power that allowed me to look at my life just from a different perspective. I was like yeah, we got to get it together so that admitting I had a problem really just being humble. Um, looking at resentment, a lot of releasing of a lot of anger, um self-hate, uh trauma. By just releasing all of that and I did a lot of that through journaling to the extent that I could while I was in prison and then after you know, after that when my journey started of hey, what I wasn't introduced into the real world until six months sober and so I had to like relearn everything environment and places I had to get a complete new job. Like life just completely different from the last time I was out in this on the street to when I went to prison to coming back out six months sober and determined to stay sober or more like have to because even after prison I was on an intensive uh treatment Court program that I had to like report every single day um and then after I completed that 18 months later, I was still on an intensive probation um to the point where I got discharged early because there's no hiccups and all that good stuff. So, it, I mean it was a lot of character development just through journaling and looking at myself and looking at where, how I got there, how I got to that point.

Alex: Wow and so you said you were part of AA treatment program after the time in jail, was there um what other practices like, were you part of a 12-step program or what practices were sustaining you during that time?

Jay: Yeah no no programs, no no medicines, no 12-step programs, no AA meetings. Anything like that um.

Alex: Wow.

Jay: It yeah, I um my dad, my dad did AA and to, to the world he was 10 years sober and to me he was a closet drinker so it was um very interesting like, the mixed feelings I had on like AA and things like that like if it worked, if it didn't work and that's just through my anecdotal experience growing up and so um I just, I did what I had to do to maintain my freedom. So if I drink alcohol at this point in my sobriety journey is like what seven months if I had a drink of alcohol I would um I'd do 11 years of prison or I could have my freedom. So, it's like I I had to develop like an unwavering desire for freedom and sobriety.

Alex: Wow. My Goodness, your story is just so transformational and and inspiring because I didn't know like these parts of your story and to think of where you once were and then to see like the version of you that I know which I just see you on my Instagram feed with the most inspirational videos like you're just so inspiring and I just think it's it's incredible to see where you come from and and where you've brought yourself now and how you're helping other people it's just amazing.

Jay: Thank you, thank you. I, I truly truly wait and it took me a long a long time to get to that point like it's it's not like I was like yo I'm never gonna just popped out I was like I'm gonna help people no, this is Jay four years into sobriety. When I first started you know, uh, trying to give back and I was like yo you know I think it's time. I think it's time for more and I felt a calling and I felt it all and um and I truly believe your story is not for you like your testimony is not for you it's for other people to know that they can get through it too so I'm I'm completely transparent with everything I’ve been through..

Alex: So true. It's uh, there's a Brene Brown quote that I love. She says uh”share your story because one day it will become someone else's survival guide” and that's really what it is it's we're sharing bits of our story to support other people that are further that are what's the right word they're walking the path a little bit behind us we're sharing our story as they're following along and.

Jay: You know, and one thing big ups to Brene Brown. Like she took got me out of the darkest spots. Like, when people talk about like shame and guilt like, I like, I struggled hard with that and and one because I was actually convicted you know, where judge looked at me and was like you're guilty and so like that sticks with me and then shameful for the things that I did you know from landing myself in prison right? And, and really trying to release that working with a therapist and of course but shout out to Brene Brown uh like she she has actually created this version of me that you know.


Jay: It's like Brene Brown, Susan Piper and uh yeah that's yeah those those two women are just, but I just really changed my lives.

Alex: I don't know Susan. I haven't heard of Susan Piper before. What is Susan Piper's work? Is she an author as well?

Jay: Yeah, yeah. Susan Piper um is an author and um she's actually a 20 plus year Buddhist practitioner. Um, she wrote the book the Four Noble Truths of Love where you take the Buddhist for Noble Truths but she implemented relationships and I mean it's just truly beautiful. Taught me how to completely love differently. Um and the beautiful thing about it is when I was learning how to like love and love myself and love others and working in a relationship to back it up like maybe seven months ago or six months ago I interviewed Susan podcast so I was like yo that's just an accomplishment there so that's pretty cool.

Alex: That's incredible. I'll have to, I'll have to give that a listen and check that out. I've just gotten into reading again after like a, a Hiatus from uh regular reading so I'll put that on my book list.

Jay: Yes yes the Four Noble Truths of Love.

Alex: So Jay, you mentioned that there was a period of time in your sobriety like for the first four years um or it was only at the four years when you pivoted and decided to start giving back and helping others and so what was that what prompted that shift within you like where did you start to see that this is what you wanted to to do?

Jay: Um it's a phenomenal question. Um, I'm really trying to pinpoint it because I don't want to say it woke up one day and I was like yo, I'm gonna start giving back it was honestly the podcast. It was honestly starting my podcast last year and um my friend challenged me one day I used to host a um a Bible study. I used to host a Bible study for like a year and um my friend would come and he's like Jay, you need to start a podcast. You give perspective on things. I was like no no absolutely hate my voice absolutely no no no no no no and I was like no, just do it do it and so he challenged me he's like if he, he said do it in 30 days. I said if you show me how to create a successful podcast I'll have it for you in 30 days you know and uh it was that moment that people started listening and I was like oh okay and then um I anywhere that I go in life whether that's a prison cell or a stage or a workshop um I pray to be effective and I just started feeling myself be effective, you know? it's like all right let's Double Down 120 on this and um and I felt closer to my higher power. so, I was like let's keep rocking with it and it so it wasn't like my choice at all. I was kind of again forced and shoved this way.

Alex: Yeah, almost like the universe sort of put it on your path and and then after you started doing the podcast is that when you started doing workshops and coaching?

Jay: Yeah, like I did the podcast, got plugged in with some people in clubhouse and but I honestly didn't start speaking until February this year. They by on stages and things like that. So, I went through a speaker's program um and I'm a certified disc uh facilitator and certified uh emotional intelligence practitioner but I was able to develop all of that and develop my story and believe in myself. It was just one day I woke up in February, it was like the last day of February. I was sitting in the the eye doctor and I just felt this pool to be like yo, join the speakers program and because I was like I've never spoken on the stage. I've never wrote a speech I dropped out of college like I sell cars like all this other stuff and um I was like cool I'll do it and ever ever since then it just took off like it was like purpose so it's like it's insane how big it is now like I, I speak in an international addiction conference at the end of October um all right we were oh I'm doing consulting with like eight companies next year already set in stone contract, signed. Um, I mean reframe, I've done some amazing work together but it's just crazy. So, it's I'm literally getting in the habit of losing control and everything that I do I'm just like I can't I can't it's not it's not my will so I'm just being used.


Alex: That's incredible. That's so inspiring and that it came together so quickly like you only started in February and now you have so many contracts and opportunities so that just shows to me that it's really is your purpose and you're on your your your path because when you step into your purpose things just fall into place and just come your way.

Jay: Yeah, yeah and and the biggest thing is like getting out of the way like, yeah things can come our way but if we're not receptive to that then that we're gonna miss them. It's not like it's gonna have to circle back around. we're gonna have to learn that same lesson again like how many times did I like go through the same lesson before I got to this version of me until I was like okay, all right cool I'm gonna stop trying to do it my way let me get out the way and and I think that's a, a huge part of it too.

Alex: So tell me about when you run workshops for your community, what are your what do you speak on, what are your themes, what's your message?

Jay: yeah absolutely, so my My overall messages break the cycle. Break the cycle like we we have a choice when it comes to our actions and our responses and it is up to us to break the cycle of the trauma and pain that's been passed down to us. Um so, I focus on managing destructive emotions and habits to live a full and effective life. Um, and it's rooted in from where I come from, story time, about my name. My name is Julian Chase Jr right and the reason that I go by Jay is because I was actually named after my dad's Alias. So, when he met my mom he was on the run from the state of Missouri uh and they met in Texas. They got married and he's using a fake name so there's some guy back in the name back in the day named Julian and he used the last name Chase because he was on the run and he named me a junior and when I was 16 I got to stop by the cops and uh they approached me with gunpoint because they thought I was my dad and my dad um it does said some bad things and um or did uh, God Mercy unit so and it's, it's like I'm not gonna curse my son like that so it's time to break the cycle and anywhere that I live anywhere any like creating new habits. So, I really speak on behaviors communication styles. Um, what I focus on is the three levels of Mastery that I've came to like pinpoint for myself is understanding self-understanding others and then recognizing situational needs and how to respond.

Alex: Wow, that is so such an inspiring story and so um wow to have that name and then have that experience and and how that ties into your message and breaking the cycle like it just I think I've heard you say that before in some of the clips I've seen like breaking the cycle and and hearing that background story just really I don't know, it like makes it land and uh um in another way it makes it resonate and that sounds amazing I want to do any of these workshops online? Because I would love for to experience one of them.

Jay: I actually haven't um, I haven't decided to do it uh online yet they're super intimate like with the ones that like we put on we put on three or four and it's it's super intimate to just uh, I love it I love it but I think we're actually moving towards that way because we're growing so.

Alex: Yeah.

Jay: They will be soon. I can definitely say there will be some in 2023 online.

Alex: Amazing, cool well we would love to uh promote that and share it with the community.

Jay: Absolutely, I would love to see you there like it's it's a phenomenal phenomenal thing and and the beautiful thing about it like what I do in helping uh substance people um, Jay get your words together right like I cannot think um what what I do when it comes to recovery and helping substance use uh just those who suffer from substance use disorder is um a disc influenced recovery style which helps uh which helps us understand ourselves others and recognize situational needs but most importantly how to communicate with others and with our loved ones about our recovery.

Alex: Amazing, and tell me about so you do some coaching work for reframe and so what’s your coaching look like with them?

Jay: Yeah um, so one, I do host one meeting just open to all reframers uh throughout the week um and that's on Tuesday but on Sunday I actually only work with individuals who are 90 days plus um alcohol free and the reason that I feel that is because my sobriety Journey didn't really start until I was six months that were and so I was like who am I going to help? Who do I want to add value to? Who I want to give back to those people? Who are like okay I'm sober now what because I just kind of got thrown in the world like that and so I don't so on Sundays we do a lot of character development in those meetings and it's open to reframers or people who are 90 days plus alcohol free.

Alex: Amazing, cool and we have a we have a bit of a reframe connection with our community because Cathy also works with reframe and Cathy's pretty involved in the Mindful Life Practice so I feel really connected and I hear about what's going on in reframe and I keep saying like it's something that I want to check out and explore and just experience because it sounds like it's an amazing community.

Jay: Oh yeah, oh yeah absolutely phenomenal. Um, since I've been doing it again like kind of not like and when you're walking on purpose there's nothing that's that's forced there's nothing about my speaking career podcast or helping or giving back or coaching and all the stuff that we've covered like I know it's been a lot but none of it felt forced. None of it felt like, like oh like I gotta squeeze or fit this in. It just happens in like when I was approached by reframe I was like absolutely like, that's something I want to do you know and um I was like that's that's what I'm working towards and just the amount of reception from that community of just welcoming in a new coach. I've only been doing you know and they created this meeting for me you know like this this whole this whole 90-day coaching group they're like that's like who do you talk to what do you want to do there it is and people are like we need this and so I'm like yeah this isn't even forced they're like we've been wanting this and I'm like wow it's beautiful so it's it's truly a beautiful experience uh partnering with them.

Alex: Amazing, is there anything else you have coming up this year or any other programs anything you want to share about?

Jay: Um, we this year uh 2022 no no in 2023 absolutely. We uh we're finishing up the workshop uh today , actually um and so that's going to be the last one for this year and then next year we are we are doing a lot. We're doing a lot we're speaking all over the country already um and I'm coming and I'm coming up uh with a program not coming up but releasing I guess because it's it's in the final stages of it um a discover a discover U program and where we really get down to who you are as a person uncover what you need as a person and discover how you communicate with the world uh and so that's actually going to be a pretty big deal. So, I'm excited about that it's called The Discovery program, The Discovery program.

Alex: Amazing and where can people find it?

Jay: Um, it's definitely just uh sign up for the ebook on my website HD and we'll keep you updated. It's not quite done yet um 2023 is probably I want to say January. January we're going to be able, we're going to be ready to release that so if you get on the email list on the ebook then you'll definitely get the personal invitation to the Discovery program when it opens up.

Alex: Amazing, fantastic so I was wondering if you could think back to when you were starting out your journey and when you were really struggling and sort of not yet sober. If you could talk to like your younger self what advice or what wisdom would you give what would you say?

Jay: Oh um, could I just like show up and like beat him up? Could I just do that like we knew like different, like I don't even want to talk to you no more kid no.


Jay: Oh man literally um, I would sit down with them and just and just tell them like yo nobody's gonna leave you dog. Like, nobody's gonna love you and leave you like, I promise you so quit trying to get it up get it all now but but let's slow down and really think about what you want in life think about what you want to give back and think about how you want to leave a legacy because you don't want to be remembered for this.

Alex: So inspiring and do you have any, do you have any I'll ask you one more question if you had any advice for like anyone starting out their sober Journey just in general would you give any specific advice to anyone for any suggestions?

Jay: Absolutely um, the first thing that somebody does when when you build a house a lot of people say pour the foundation and I'm like no you got to go to the city and ask permission so ask yourself permission tell yourself it's okay to start building your sober house and stand on your foundation start pouring the foundation start leveling the ground start putting up the framework but it's not just going to pop up a beautiful house there is work you're gonna have to do and um and that's okay impreace that.

Alex: Amazing. That's an amazing, inspiring note to to wrap up on. So, Jay I just want to thank you so much for being on the show. This has been so amazing to reconnect again and to hear your story and I just think where you come from and where you are today it's just incredible and inspiring to see the transformation and I'm not surprised that you're inspiring and your business is growing so quickly because just sitting with you like I'm inspired by the past 40 minutes together so thank you so much and I really appreciate you being on the show.

Jay: Yeah, thank you thank you for having me. Like this is uh truly truly I'm just grateful um to have this opportunity to have this opportunity. You're in a you're an amazing inspirator, the way you're an amazing leader um I aspire to be like you or of a version of a leader like you is someday so thank you.

Alex: Oh thank you so much Jay.

Jay: Yeah absolutely.

Alex: Well, have a great Sunday and I'll speak to you soon.

Jay: You too, lady.

Alex: Bye.

Jay: Bye.

Alex: Hi friend, thank you so much for listening to this episode of Sober Yoga Girl podcast. This community wouldn't exist without you here. So thank you. It would be massively helpful if you could subscribe, leave a review and share this podcast so it can reach more people. If we haven't met yet in real life please come get your one week free trial of the Sober Girls Yoga membership and see what we're all about. Sending you love and light wherever you are in the world.


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