Alex Meets Tosh, Your Sober Flight Attendant

I'm super excited to meet one of my Sober Instagram friends, Tosh, @princesstoshhh. Tosh is a sober flight attendant based on the states and is on a mission to normalize sobriety, especially in the aviation industry. She said that due to unpredictable schedules and stress from work and home, it's common for flight crews to drink heavily. She is now over a year sober and advocates on social media to help others in this journey too. In this episode Alex and Tosh chat about her sober story.

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Follow Tosh on Tiktok and on Instagram @princesstoshhh. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/.

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Full episode

Transcript

Intro

Welcome to the "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast with Alex McRobs, international yoga teacher and sober coach. I broke up with booze for good in 2019. And now I'm here to help others do the same. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how.

Alex

All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of "Sober Yoga Girl". I am super excited to have Tash with me here today, and Tash is a sober flight attendant. I actually came across her on TikTok originally has some really great TikTok videos, but also Instagram sober content. And, so I'm super excited to meet you today because I've been following you for a while. So nice to meet you.

Tosh

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Alex

And so you are in Oklahoma right now?

Tosh

Right now. Yes.

Alex

That's where you grew up?

Tosh

It's where I grew up. And then when I got became a flight attendant, I lived in Chicago for almost four years. And then I actually recently just moved to Florida in August, just kind of hopping all over the place.

Alex

And when you do flights, do you primarily do flights around North America, or do you go all over the world? Like, how does it work?

Tosh

Yeah. I say it's mainly, like in the United States, and then for fun, like, I'll travel internationally, but usually, when I work, working-wise, it's just in the state.

Alex

Cool. Awesome.

Tosh

Yeah.

Alex

And maybe you can tell us a bit about yourself, like your hobbies, your interests, kind of whatever you want to share.

Tosh

Yeah, of course. Yeah. I'm a flight attendant. Honestly, that takes up a lot of my time, but I don't mind. I love traveling. I have always loved traveling, so obviously I do that a lot. I love meeting new people. Hobby-wise, I love working out. I actually do some yoga, which I need to learn more from you. I definitely want to get more into that. And I love dancing. I grew up dancing, and I think that's another reason why I love TikTok because you can just learn all those TikTok dances for fun. And I can use it to find you know, sober community. Other people you know, like me. So that's really cool. And then I love music, like going to music festivals. I actually just went to my first sober music festival, like a couple of weeks-- yeah. And it was so fun. So I'm excited to start doing more of that, too.

Alex

Yeah, I know the world is opening up.

Tosh

Yes. I'm so excited. So new normal.

Alex

Yes. So tell me a bit about your drinking. When did you start drinking?

Tosh

Yeah. So I was actually considered like a late bloomer. I didn't start drinking until I was, like, 21. And honestly, when I started when I was 21, I didn't even really like it that much. Like I didn't like the taste. Like, you know, I was just kind of like, whatever about it. And then when I got to, like, 22 is kind of when I like just-- I was in College. So I did the whole like, you know, College party scene. And then I like to say it. I guess the best way to say it would be I basically just have brought College from when I'm 22. And just-- instead of stopping at College, I feel like I've just went-- and drink until I was--. I've been a little over a year sober now. So until I was like, 28.

Alex

Oh, wow. Okay

Tosh

Yeah.

Alex

And how old are you now? 29?

Tosh

29.

Alex

Oh, we're the same age. Are you 1992?

Tosh

Oh my Gosh. Yes.

Alex

Amazing. What month are you born?

Tosh

February 6.

Alex

Okay. Cool. I'm April. So you're a little bit older than me.

Tosh

Yeah, I know. I'm a month older.

Alex

And so you stopped drinking when you were 28?

Tosh

Yes.

Alex

Cool. And so right around me too. I stopped drinking when I was 27.

Tosh

Oh, my gosh. Yeah.

Alex

Cool.

Tosh

Awesome.

Alex

And so you were drinking all through your 20's. What made it escalate over time?

Tosh

Yeah. So for me, it was-- I was always like, you know, I'm a very happy person. So the majority of the time over the years, like, I was always, you know, obviously just a really happy drunk. Like, I love being social, all that stuff. And I love being a happy and a positive influence and stuff like that. Well, the negative about that was I would tend to when I would go through things like hard times in life, like a breakup or family stuff or whatever I was going through. I would just kind of mask it with drinking and like, so over the course of time, even in College, I would drink to cover up things. I mean, I was drunk all the time. I literally went to class like, drunk. So I really gave myself no time to process emotions, feelings, because I just didn't like not feeling good and negative. So what would happen is-- over the years, I would have a little angry outburst. Or I would just be rude to one of my best friends. Or I would-- I mean, one time in college, I remember I made a car full of my sorority sisters cry. But then it was College. So it was just kind of like, oh, whatever. It was the weirdest thing. It was just like, okay. Yeah. You were drunk. And so that just kind of carried out throughout the years. It wasn't every time I drink, I would like, flip that switch and just get, like, mad or, like, have my angry outbursts or have emotional dumping on people. But when it did happen, it just got worse. And then when COVID happens, I feel like COVID just like with everybody else, and too much caffeine. Alright. With everybody else like, you know, mental health just-- it really hit hard. And so my angry outbursts just kind of got worse. And I, you know, like in the course of one month, I got angry drunk at like, two of my ex-best friend and my ex-boyfriend. And that's, like, what separated us in, like, one month. And the last day I drink was July 4th. And I mean, that was probably like, the worst, most embarrassing day, like, just get a big drunk fight with my ex-boyfriend in front of a group of people at this July 4th party. And like--, and then I ended up driving away, and I crashed his truck, and then that wasn't even the end of it. Like, I went back to his place and his friends were there. And then, you know, I was acting so crazy that I ended up getting kicked out of the house because I was just being, like, so crazy.

Alex

Oh my goodness.

Tosh

And so after that day, like, I was kind of like, okay, and then three weeks before that, you know, I don't even remember what I said to my ex best friends, but it was enough for them to finally just be, like, we're done. So in the course of one month, losing those people and you know, from my drinking, I just-- and embarrassing myself. I just realized, okay, like, obviously something's got to happen. Something's got to change. Like, it's not okay. It's at the point where, you know, I'm starting to lose friends. And now looking back, I like and like, oh, wow. Maybe that's why some of those people I'm not as close to anymore was because of my drinking because I would just brush it aside, like, my little tantrums or when I would get drunk or I would you know, my ego would get in the way and be like, oh, they deserve it or something like that, you know? So even though it wasn't all the time when it did happen, it was enough. At that point, it was just enough for me to be like, okay, I don't like waking up with shame and regret anymore. And I mean, that's one of the best parts about being sober, because, like, I mean, you know, like, wow. I literally in this past year. So, you know, I haven't woken up with shame or regret or guilt of, like, hurting people I care about. And that is probably the best part. Yeah. It's one of the many amazing parts of being sober, for sure.

Alex

I love the way you just phrase that like, that just really made me smile, like, thinking about you know, waking-- I'm like, when is the last time I woke up with guilt or shame or regret over hurting someone? I couldn't tell you. And it used to be--and it wouldn't even be for me, like, sometimes you wouldn't even have guilt or shame, you would have, like, just anxiety, doom, thinking-- I would think that everyone hated me, like, every morning.

Tosh

Yes. Yeah.

Alex

Because I couldn't remember moments of the night and was, like, trying to piece them together. And then you just don't know what people remember. You know, and you have these moments where you think you're, like, best friends with someone like you're screaming with someone that your best friends over the music. And that's just like done in the morning, you know, like, it's like, who's that stranger.

Tosh

Yes. Like, that anxiety-- and that was probably another thing is, like, now I know when I do mess up, I can make amends for that right away or something. You know, that's the great part about-- it's not like I'm suddenly perfect. I still have that anger in me you know. But now I can definitely have a handle on it more instead of putting you know a liquid that will depress it in my body, which makes it worse. So now it's like, even if I do, it doesn't get nearly as bad when I do get angry. And when I do, maybe have a little, like, bratty moment or you know, not the nicest, like, I can make amends for that right away. Like, you know, fix that for the future. Yeah. And that's another thing about the anxiety thing, like, waking up, you're texting your friends also, like, oh, did I do anything to hurt you? And they're like, you know, sometimes they're like, yeah, dude. Or other times they're like, what you're freaking out. You're overthinking. You're like, yeah, I don't miss that feeling at all. I love knowing when I wake up the next day being like, cool. All right. It was a great night.