Bee Sober with Alex and Lisa

Meet Alex and Lisa founders of Bee Sober CIC. Alex and Lisa are two women from Northern England, starting a new revolution and on a mission to remove stigmas associated with binning the booze and showing everyone the huge benefits sobriety brings. Tune into this episode to hear their sober story, and how they created a global sober community that's taking the world by storm!

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Find Alex and Lisa at www.beesoberofficial.com. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/live-schedule.

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TRANSCRIPT

Intro

Welcome to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast with Alex McRobs, international yoga teacher and sober coach. I broke up with booze for good in 2019 and now I'm here to help others do the same. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how.

Alex

All right. Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Sober Yoga Girl. I am super excited for this episode. This is actually the first time I've ever had two guests on at once. But they come as a duo, Alex and Lisa. They are the co-hosts of Bee Sober and they are based in the U.K. And I am super happy to have you here and hear more about your sober journey. Both of your sober journey. So welcome to the show.

Alex Walker

Well, thank you for having us on. Yeah.

Alex

How's it going?

Alex Walker

It's good. Yeah, we're all so excited, but also a little bit nervous as well, because it's been a while since we've been interviewed and want to say that we were interviewed last week. But it's been a while since you've been interviewed by somebody we don't know very well. So--

Alex

Okay.

Alex Walker

It's exciting for us as well. It's a nice change.

Lisa

We interviewed just last week?

Alex Walker

Shayna.

Lisa

Oh. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I forgot we've done that. And it's like, what is she talking about? Oh yeah. This is the first one we've done in ages, but she is one of our ambassadors by quite close friends as well. So it didn't it-- didn't feel like interview--

Alex Walker

It felt like a chat. Like a zoom--

Alex

Great. Friend hangout.

Alex Walker

Yeah.

Alex

Cool. Well, I'm super excited to have you here and I was wondering if we could start off if you could just give us a bit of context into who you are? Kind of what your sort of life story, I guess, per se has been.

Alex Walker

We've got a few hours.

Lisa

You're going to need it.

Alex Walker

So I guess the thing is, at least when I have been best friends for over 30 years. We've met as children. Our parents were drinking friends and friends from the pub industry with they both from pubs at the time. And we were just kind of thrown together as teenagers. Having never met and said, there you go, if you go make friends with each other, which was awkward anyway as a teenager, but more awkward because Lisa is quite socially or sorry Lisa was socially awkward. Lisa was quite socially awkward. Not anymore. She's an amazing sober baby now. But yeah, it was quite socially awkward. It had social anxiety. And looking back, I think we both had a bit of that. Yeah, we were thrown together. We had a pretty much what we considered normal teenage friendship. It was very close very quickly, wasn't it Lis?

Lisa

Yeah, definitely. And I think the drinking started pretty much as soon as we met.

Alex Walker

Yeah.

Lisa

I think because we were thrown together through them kind of circumstances it was just so normal to was drinking was absolutely normal. It's what everybody did that we knew. So when we met through our parents drinking. It was just kind of an obvious thing that we would eventually do together anyway. Experimenting as teenagers meant that we have been drunk together a lot.

Alex Walker

A heck of a lot. Yeah. We kind of started smoking together. Drink together. We kind of discovered boys around the same time. And so, yeah, it was normal for girls like Lisa said. I don't think they knew anyone that was fully sober because our parents worked in pubs. Well, it's in an owned pub. So everybody we ever spoke to was probably quite drunk. So it didn't seem abnormal for us to join in at all. But we had to join in secret because we would have been absolutely so much trouble if our parents had found out.

Lisa

Well. You're saying that. My parents actually told me, they said if I was going to drink, then I should do it properly.

Alex Walker

Yeah.

Lisa

So from a really early age. I was like 40 and I got dropped off at home and with another friend. And like, got told how to walk into it. How to to confidently ask for a drink. So I didn't ask for. I know, I'm not. I could see your face like, wow, that was so normal. Good to me as a teenager. I remember going in thinking. Right? I'll ask for a half lager like going two halves lager please. I've practiced and practiced and then sat down and had like conversations pretending that we had our own house and stuff. You know, I sat at the table as if we was older. So I think even looking back, drinking was normal to my parents as well. So I didn't see that as wrong because they saw it as teaching me how to do it in a sensible way.

Alex Walker

Well I can say it didn't work. So, yeah. I mean, similarly, I suppose I was allowed to have red wine with a meal. And if you're going to drink, drink in the house. I think the kind of drinking that we did that was like bottles. They had something called white light inside of an-- oh yeah. And Thunderbirds blue. And it was just the most disgusting. It was disgusting anyway. The taste of alcohol when you first try, it takes you, makes you 'ehh', doesn't it? But this was really disgusting. This was like petrol. And so we became really good at being allowed to socialize in and being confident and thinking we could dance and all of those things. By the time we were 18, we were really experts at it. Complete experts at it. And then kind of life goes on. And we got married not to each other. We got married. And--

Lisa

People often think that the--

Alex Walker

I would say-- It happens a lot.

Lisa

We got asked we was at an event the other week. One of the "Bee Sober" events. As we sat there, one of the girls that came she was like swear you to a couple. And were like. "Oh, no."

Alex Walker

As much as we have our domestic and as much as we plot each other's lives and shopping lists. No were not.

Lisa

Friends.

Alex Walker

But yeah, we kind of we got married. We had children. We move separately. And then we were finally settled in our lives. So our drinking then would be kind of, you know, the kids in bed, few bottles of wine at night. And it would be normal, separate lives going on. And I guess really for me and I think for Lisa as well, the turning point for both of us was in a very late 20s, early 30s. Where we kind of the children were old enough to get babysitters. Both of our marriages were on the rocks at the same time. And we kind of took off exactly where we left off with a vengeance. And we partied really hard all the way through our breakups.

Alex

Wow.

Alex Walker

And I don't remember the first five years of my 30s really. And that's genuine. It's like a bit of a blur of drinking and going out and partying and then being a mom in the week, working and living this kind of double life, you know.

Alex

Right.

Alex Walker

And you were the same. Weren't you Lisa, with your double life?

Lisa

Yeah. It's giving me anxiety, thinking about it. I actually-- honestly. It really, really is. Because like how they said, when like, I had my first car when I was 19. So drinking pretty much stopped for me then. I just became a moment was all I ever wanted to do. When I was growing up, I wanted a family and children. And so I was just in my element of like living this family life. So then at 30, when that kind of ended. It shocks me to the core of my colleagues has just went right back to before I took my daughter and thought I was 18 again which was wild.

Alex Walker

And so it went for about ten years.

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex

Wow.

Alex Walker

And I think this not-- there's not much kind of high and low in there. That was various dramas in our own lives. We both got remarried. We-- I had another baby. So I had a baby quite late at 37.

Lisa

We just pop in. I actually-- we married an alcoholic. I met him--

Alex Walker

That's not a big point.

Lisa

Because I was kind a-- and become single and the week is when the kids were where the dads that I saw that was my free time and I felt like I deserve this free time and I deserved my friends and get drunk. And I ended up kind of meeting my second husband in a poverty situation.

Alex

Right.

Lisa

Which then meant that our whole relationship revolved around alcohol really. So that kind of made it worse where I was I wouldn't ever drink in the week before I was a binge drinker. Quite prided myself on binge drinking and how good I was. I drink started to creep in the week, so I decided that I was kind of drinking to be on the same level as my husband then at time I never really realized he was an alcoholic until the end, really. But I just thought with that when I go out on--

Alex Walker

My husband wasn't a drinker at all. Like you know, he could literally take it or leave it, but he loved food. So I was quite manipulative. I used to bring him home a takeaway and I'd have a bottle of wine. So they didn't question my wine drinking. And again, it would just be a weekend, but it was a lot. We can be Friday, Saturday, very rarely in Sunday. And I would get the most-- always throughout my entire life, I got the worst hangover, like debilitating hangovers. I don't think anyone else hangover like I had them. And they were awful, aren't it Lisa? Just like awful. Not enough to put me off--

Lisa

I think people do. I think you was just loud at your hangovers. In almost people that, really hangover feels like I used to be sick the next day. So sick and I'd like to have hair of the dog, I think sort myself out with a couple of drinks you know, on a Sunday. Whereas Alex would like make noises all day with the hangover.

Alex Walker

Oh, and it really was. And I'd crawl around on all force and like and be hunched over and yeah it was just-- it was just disgusting. Anyway, fast forward a little bit and go back swinging a bit. Yes. And I got a phone call, I get these like random phone calls on a hungover morning. We both had a hangover always. We phone each other up and go. Oh guess what I did last night and I did this. And that's how we just carried on being stuck because one of us would have always done something worse. No one ever made you things. It was just things we have said all people would have met and oversharing and ended up in random kitchens fully so that she talks about and then me texting people just, you know, most cringe moments. I never had anxiety over it. I just didn't care why was Lisa would be really crippled with anxiety. So she'd phoned me up and instantly I make her feel better and say, Okay we're all right. If I say instantly, she'd still have anxiety about Wednesday.

Lisa

It feed me into my daily life. I never realized that I was constantly anxious. And it was coming from the weekends. I like I wouldn't answer my phone, but if I didn't recognize the number, I wouldn't answer my phone. And I built it up to be a really big thing, like even making a dentist appointment. I would like I'd have to really deep breathe and think about ringing the dentist. And I never, ever connected that was to do with my weekend drinking. Like, why wouldn't you? But it absolutely what was like I'm quite happy to well, not happy to make a dentist appointment.

Alex Walker

You don't get anxiety over it. Do you?

Lisa

Forget anxiety. Well, that was the wrong thing to use because actually I do.

Alex Walker

You don't have the dentist of your novel stuff novels.

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex Walker

So I was kind of not knowing that you'd about my drinking whatsoever and I didn't even know I had anxiety. But when Lisa stopped drinking, she realized she didn't have anxiety at all. When I stopped drinking, I realized I actually had a diagnosed. I got a mental health condition diagnosed, which was anxiety. So obviously I was not in my mind, not even realizing.

Alex

Wow.

Alex Walker

So yeah, around that time, I got this phone call, right? And she just goes, I'm quit drinking. Like what? Oh yeah.Alright. I was like, okay. But I also know Lisa and I know when she says she's doing something, she just does it. So I then was like, oh hey, who am I going to drink with. Whilst it's trying to be like the best friend I could be and going, oh, that's really good. Oh, let me do it for you know. Oh, just 100 days. I don't think she got 100 days. That's ages. I do not want to be able to go out with the next-- You know what, like that kind of thing. But then yeah I'll tell you 100 day journey because--

Lisa

Well it started like how with a massive hunger of my weekend and started to really take off in my life. My children by this time teenagers. And they were actually going wild. And what I was doing, instead of showing off and being the parent that I should be. I was going at the weekend and trying to know everything that was happening in my whole life. I was like, oh, I need a break from all this trouble that they put me through. I was all for sharing with people, telling people stuff that didn't need to know. I was going also through a marriage breakup with my husband. They call it wrong on this part. So everything is just gone to kind of swear. It just got to shit. Everything had just gone to shit. And I was lying there on a Monday morning. I couldn't bear to go into work and work with me and my mom worked together. So it's our business and I couldn't even get up to go to work. I fell ill and I just had to know if I just had enough of being this person that wasn't I was going anyway and think like being the party animal and saying, I'm going to do all these things. And I've always been quite spiritual and the little things like that. And I love nature. And then I have all these big ideas while I was drinking and then I wouldn't do anything about and I just get hate myself for speaking of such things. And one die of anxiety the day after. And I just-- I was tired, was tired of going to people's stupid kitchens like people I didn't even know. Sat in the kitchen, jokes on the table that I'd never ever dream of taking had a not to drink. And again I've just had enough. And my colleague says around one that morning I was like, I have had enough. Somebody told me about a book which was Catherine Gray's "Unexpected Joy of Being Sober". And this particular person I used to work, I was a health and nutrition consultant and one of the members from my group had gone on holiday and she was doing a 100 days sober. And I was absolutely shocked. Like, how can somebody do this? A 100 days?We've gone on holiday and it's not even a drink. I was like, who are these people that do such a thing? And I want it to be like that. I wanted to be confident enough to be able to do it. So that was it. I was like that I'm going to do a 100 days and I'm just going to see what it's like. I'm going to see who I am because I've lost myself. I'm going to show up and be the person that I need to be when I need to be picking the kids up. I'm going to be ready to do it. And that was kind of like a drive by day. I just lost myself and wanting to find out if I was without alcohol because it was such a big part of my identity. And that's kind of where it started. And, you know what from the-- from the first week I loved it. I read this book, I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm not on my own. These are the people that I found like Facebook groups realized that there was like so many of the people like this. I really wasn't on my own. And that was a massive, massive help me. But I also really struggled with loneliness in the beginning. I found it a really lonely place because nobody understood why I was doing it. Everybody thought I was stupid. It was like being like, whatever. So all these people that I thought were my friends and I don't mean you in this bit Alex. I'm really sorry I did.

Alex Walker

So I think it. I just didn't say it.

Lisa

But all these people just didn't have any faith in me. Like what kind of person? I'm aware people don't think I can't stop drinking for 100 days. And in fact, who am I? What they actually don't want to spend time with me while I'm not drinking. Like, am I that boring sober? And it really messed with my head, like really messed with it. So I did a lot of work. I like kind of sit in with myself. The weekends were forever to begin with. They seemed so long and I would just sat there like "ahh" and know I'll be slightly fly by. But it was quite-- there was a lot of work to be done on myself I think within that 100 days. And then Alex was one of the all the friends that actually did believe in me. Hence, still about.

I did believe in her and I did support. But honestly, I have the same thoughts inside. I think just what set me aside from World of Friends was I wasn't going to voice it. I wanted to be a supportive friend. I really hoped she wouldn't do it deep down. I want to fail. I hoped it would come back to being a party animal with me because I have no one else to do it with now. And what then happened? Because I wasn't doing that with Lisa raised. I started to say that not everybody in my life was doing this either. So the people I would say, Oh, we all go, wow, I wasn't going out with all anybody. I was socializing with my husband's family who enjoyed to drink with us on a weekend. And because then they would literally just have a few drinks on a weekend. That was my opportunity to really binge. Now, in the meantime, of all this and I guess this is where it gets a little bit complicated, Lisa would set up based Manchester with two of the girls because she had to find a social circle. She had to find a life outside of drinking friends. One, because they don't look it up on leftwards, too, because I was still drinking. So she made these friends. And I remember telling me I'm setting up this group beast over Manchester. And actually thinking, oh, two things that through my head that's dull you know. Number one and number two is I'm not going to be allowed to go to this. I don't like this. I felt sorry for myself--

Lisa

And I made it really obvious that she wasn't allowed to go. So she-- like I did, I was so excited about it. And she was like-- and I'm like, absolutely not. There's load of stuff for drinkers then there is nothing for us sober people. So she relax.

Alex Walker

Like she knows me as well and knows I like to be interested. So she knew straight away she tried to sow some seeds. I don't know whether it was deliberate or not, but I'm going to pretend it wasn't.

Lisa

Who knows.

Alex Walker

But anyway, in the meantime then I had some personal tragedies going on. So Lisa's life's all coming up. I'm looking good. And it was looking good on the outside. It was doing well on the inside. I then unfortunately suffered a miscarriage back in October 2018. And at this point my drinking was pretty heavy. I would say Friday, Saturday night still, but a lot more than I ever had on my face. I would get really red cheeks, really hot. And I started to notice the color of my face wasn't great. And so I don't know the physical signs. That was one. I'd get really hard and have terrible hangovers and I would sit there after a drink-- particularly after the miscarriage. I would sit there and get really bitter and twisted about everything. So I'd go back over my childhood and start looking at the traumas that happened there and really kind of dramatize them and make them worse than they were. They were pretty bad. Didn't they make it worse anyway. I would go back over them and over them and over them. Be resentful and horrible, and then I would take that resentment out on my husband. So what would start out as a nice night would always end up with me saying, I hate you and just being really obnoxious and not very nice. Then I'd wake up in the morning and be all apologetic and so it would begin again. And it got to about six months after the miscarriage. And I really wasn't a mental health rockbottom by this time. I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was hate in my life. I wish that I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I couldn't find anything to be grateful for. The only thing that kept me clinging on and not being you know, so that far down there was no return was only things my family, my husband, my children, Lisa and we went for a walk just after my birthday in the May. And I just said, I'm fed up. I cannot do anymore. And I was questioned about a drink and she'd been to my birthday party. Say party a few drinks and was sober and straight away. I was like, really inquisitive about that. And I wanted to know how it felt and how she was in a really positive way. And I felt remind her that she was just like, you're going to stop drinking. I know you are. And then two weeks later, after the final straw with a hangover and incident on the evening that resulted in my wedding ring being smashed into pieces and just not very nice things. I took a little video of myself making my noises, oh, I never do this again and I sent it to Lisa. And that was two years ago--

Alex

Wow.

Alex Walker

From that. Here we are both sober two years and two months in total collectiveness. And Lisa's just over three years.

Lisa

So you know, of course sorry, I know I'd be sober which to be sober Manchester and has completely evolved into just be sober now. So we've got like the podcast and it's become a huge global kind of nonprofit community organization where these events being held all around the world. We've got a coaching team, counseling team like it's just gone. Yeah. But nobody now has to be on the road and feel like that long enough in the beginning which we did.

Alex Walker

And not a long story.

Lisa

I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Alex. You asked the question. We just went through a photograph of it.

Alex

I love it. And I see how you know, I said prior to this interview, I was like, I've never had to be on this show. I don't know how it's going to go. I want to have space for both of your sober journeys. And I see why you say no, we're good as one because it's one story that starts with way from so young and it's so intertwined and so like it's one journey. And it's I think it's really amazing that you guys are the two best friends were able to go through that and come to this point together. Like how many people in the world have this. Like, you know, not me. It's, no, it's incredible because like, you know, I'm actually I'm here. I'm not in my home right now. I'm here at staying for the weekend at one of my good friends places. And I haven't seen him in six years, but he was my drinking buddy, you know, and it's like he's amazing. He's so amazing. But like and it was like old times. Like, we got together last night and I had my alcohol free beer and he had his beer. But like, I don't have any one that has been through that journey side by side of me. And I think that's really amazing that you guys have that it's really great.

Lisa

We did look at that way.

Alex Walker

Where we are and I think the thing that we bring that's maybe a bit different is because Lisa has got-- she did it on her own at the beginning.

Alex

Yeah.

Alex Walker

She understands anyone who's doing it on their own.

Alex

Yeah.

Alex Walker

Whereas I understand what it means to be able to lean on somebody to support because I every time I had a problem, you know, I remember the very beginning, being really forgetful. Right. Really forgetful.

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex Walker

And I remember phoning Lisa, Oh my God, is this normal. I can't remember anything I'm doing. And she's like, yeah, I remember going through that. It's actually fine. You'll come out of it in a few weeks. And of course I did. The downside was I bought the hell out of it because I kept saying, oh, you want to read this book and she's like yeah 12 months ago. 12 months ago? Yeah, I've done that.

Lisa

She did. She told me about stuff that I've read and like, I suppose it kind of evolved a little bit about time and it was like, oh, trying to be really supportive, but also like, yeah, I know.

Alex Walker

She was like recommending books like, oh, try read this Alex, try to read the "Universe has Your Back". Right. So I tried that. I just wasn't there. It just wasn't there. I could do that now. I was so far away.

Lisa

I love that book by the way.

Alex

I love that Bernstein.

Lisa

Oh I might be listen to that because--

Alex Walker

I think am I. I've got tried it.

Lisa

It was just like-- a part of that book going off that book. She says just try it for one day, just imagine that for one day that whatever happens is meant to be the universe has your back. And I remember the pressure. I could literally feel it come off my shoulders when I read it and I was like, oh, I'm gonna do that everyday. What an amazing book that is.

Alex Walker

I think I'll read that now. I'm kind of ready now.

Lisa

Yeah, you could be ready for that now. And you can tell me what happens in it, because I've forgotten now so I'll allow you that.

Alex

So you mentioned the start of this sober. So begin to be sober Manchester. And it was interesting events at the beginning. And so now it's involved with this global community. Like, tell me more about that.

Lisa

Wow. Where do we even start with that?

Alex Walker

It was an accident first of all. That's why we stopped being be sober was an accident. So just to kind of fill in a gap while Lisa's got Sober Manchester to go on with these two of the girls. I want it involved in something. And of course, I didn't know the other two. And I felt a little bit out of it and it was a little bit. But then it was a little bit of adventure for them. So I said, well, why don't we do some e-mails for people that support them to get sober in the first 30 days, we'll do what we did. So we set sober experiment. And what we wanted to do was go out to workplaces and talk to rehab centers and do the support side events for people. So Lisa's got a foot in the subsection with the other two. And then the soap experiment, which was supporting people and doing workplace and rehab, talks with me. Fastforward because the middle bit a little bit dull, but we ended up merging all of that just mainly together. And that's how it started as Bee Sober which now has workplace talks, rehab talks, how to change membership and podcast. I don't know what I'm missing?

Lisa

We have like sober lounges as well. A lot of it. We'd love them to be in person eventually everywhere. But obviously with everything that happened to the pandemic, it's been a really good opportunity. If I was actually to kind of create these lounges for people to go to and they are amazing people are really connecting and making friends and meeting each other. We've got ambassadors now from all over. We've just got and we've got an ambassador in Australia. So we've got visa of Australia and we've just had another lovely lady join us in Texas. So and then Scotland would honestly, it's just a vault. It's just fantastic. And all these guys do it. They're all voluntary. They do it on a voluntary roll and holding these Drop-In sessions, they create in real life events. Lots of our ambassadors as trained as professional coaches now, because we've also got the side. We've got to Bee Sober Academy so people can be so a qualified coach can get them accreditation. And we've just kind of we've tried to cover everything.

Alex Walker

We covered everything. I'm just thinking that what you said. We have Texas, Australia as far north as Edinburgh and as far south as Cornwall. So I think these 24 ambassadors was our last count plus us and then a coaching team of seven. So it's getting pretty big.

Lisa

And guys doing lounges for, you know, they specialize in different subjects as well. So we've got like Manchester ambassador that specializes these with women who have suffered with sexual trauma. So she had to hold to like and train that. And then we've got Bristol, one that does men on the group and we've got another lady that covers like binge eating--

Alex Walker

Menopause.

Lisa

Yeah. Menopause. So, yeah, we're just like we've got too many pies for our fingers, which is why I-- ambassadors so like we appreciate it so much.

Alex

Incredible. You know, I had no idea how huge Bee Sober was. I think we got connected through a guest that you had on your show. I think just remember how we got connected originally.

Alex Walker

I can't remember but you and I ended up talking somewhere.

Alex

Yeah.

Alex Walker

I don't know where.

Alex

Maybe it was in Instagram universe has your back that I had thought that you-- I had thought Bee Sober was just a podcast. I had no idea how huge it is. That's incredible.

Alex Walker

Yeah, it's massive and it's getting bigger all the time, which is why the biggest thing we pride ourselves on is our human connection.

Alex

Yeah.

Alex Walker

And that genuinely and I'm not I'm saying this there is not another group that will offer the level of connection that we can offer because we've got-- we're very personal in that. We speak to members of a single day, but with the 24 ambassadors also get in, everybody's back and check in on slip-ups, checking on anyone who might need a little bit of extra support. And on top of the events saying this, while the events are still going, so wherever there's an ambassador, there's a live event regularly. Plus, we've got these online events. So we just you know, we've got coaching workshops. We've got hypnotherapy going on at the moment in the group. We have a book club. It's honestly, I'm just remembering some of these things now. It's massive. It just the ambassadors will say, oh, here's another one. Do you mind if I make some jewelry and do a jewelry sale and don't donate all the money to the Bee Sober community fund. Right? No, so we had a jewelry sale two nights ago. It's just-- it's constantly new things and evolve. And our biggest worry, I say one of our biggest worries that we wouldn't be able to appeal to younger people or men. And because we're too poor to do a women but base of men has evolved from men as well. And then we've also got a young ambassador who set up a group called Bernatch, and that's the millennials. So we really kind of capture in anybody who wants to join. I think we've got members who are almost 70 and as young as 23. 24 now.

Lisa

And I think he is on groups growing, this is what we've said it. Isn't it? From the beginning and it's always going to be on the top of our priorities is that nobody ever feels on the run. So even though the group is growing, we still have that really intimate feeling about it.

Alex

Right.

Lisa

Which is so some of the drop in lounges that they're not run packed with people. You go on, there might be three or four people in there. You might go on another one like the first ones for members only. So that's kind of the bigger one where everybody's now got to know each other, but we try and make them available. So like we did have a particular led, it was really struggling. We've got big free Facebook group that anybody can join. And she was really struggling. And she reached out on the group and she was like, I don't want to do I'm struggling. Somebody said, hop on this lounge now, hop on. And she's like doing incredibly so nice. She's ended up becoming a member. But she's but because that lounge was available for that one person that day, it's been actually life changing. And that's what we want to keep. One person matters and we really want to keep that intimacy.

Alex Walker

And we can because of the ambassadors.

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex Walker

They are honestly the heart of Bee Sober. But we actually say that when we recruit. We actually say our ambassadors are the heart of Bee Sober and they are we would not be--

Lisa

We love flight bee.

Alex Walker

We love bee stuff.

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex Walker

Welcome to the hives. We want a hive in your area. We are quite bad. Bee hive.

Lisa

We're buzzing.

Alex Walker

A lot with doing that, but it's not good. But yeah, we can be we can actually be that because of the ambassadors.

Alex

Right.

Alex Walker

And it's just it's such an adventure. And I think that's the thing that is so amazing. We still really--I can't imagine it ever going away. We're still really excited because every day there's something new. Our new members are a new idea, a new perspective. And it's just-- The biggest thing we pride ourselves on is our human connection

And of course, we're so accountable, there's no way either of us could slip now. We just disappoint like 5,000 people.

Lisa

We have said that. Can you imagine if we just went out and got absolutely smashed? Everybody will like, what are you doing? We'd never do that. We don't need to-- we don't want it but imagine if we did that?

Alex Walker

It would be funny. Bad and funny.

Alex

You know, I actually have had so-- I just had a coaching as well. And I run my little sober community and I actually have had a drink in the time that I've been sober. I have not gotten drunk. But I was at a staycation in a hotel actually the night before I started a new group program. And I like kept it a secret for so long because I was like, this is going to be a fraud. And then I finally posted about it on Instagram. And I actually think it made me like more relatable to people that are going through it. Right? Because most people's journey is not like I had one day where I was like, Okay I'm sober now. And I just quit cold turkey and I was sober for the whole year. And then it was like I had a drink along the way after I was already a year sober. But most people's journey is not that black and white. Right? And most people have little slips on the way. So I'm not encouraging you to go out and drink, but you did have a drink. I think people would still, you know, would still look up to you and value you for all the-- it doesn't negate all of this incredible project that you've built.

Alex Walker

Yeah.

Lisa

We still share struggles because you know, as much as we absolutely love surprises and I'm grateful every single day for choosing this way of life. I genuinely am and things are pretty much amazing because I chose it. But that doesn't obviously mean that everything is girls in pink fluffy cloud. You know, we do have bad days where we really do struggle. And I can honestly say I don't ever really feel like I would actually take a drink, but I can definitely sense the times I would of trying to cover something up. And but we've gotten pretty good at sharing with the members haven't we? We share when it's tough because we human. You know, we are-- we going to have tough times. It might cross our mind sometimes. And I think we try to keep it as real as possible.

Alex Walker

Yeah, you taught me of a situation once I'm sitting here. I'm sure--

Lisa

Yeah.

Alex Walker

Something I was in the car wasn't that I was going. I was going to go and talk me down but that was within the first year of my--

Lisa

She were fired. If she did.

Alex Walker

You fired. Did you have a mistake? No, she didn't. But yeah, I don't know what happened now but I was very close. I think only the once and likely scenario. I can see times when I would be triggered. I can see times when I would choose to drink if I was still a drinker. But that just makes me more aware of you know, what I don't need because I know it's the same place, because if you're thinking, oh, I want to drink now, then you're not dealing with whatever it is. So that's kind of a bit of an alarm, isn't it? To see what's going on. A check in and deal with that issue. Whatever it is, once you've dealt with it, the craving pretty much goes away anyway.

Alex

Right. Yeah, absolutely. So when you talk about these lounges, are they like Zoom rooms? Like what is an-- Okay, so it's like an hour long session that's led by an ambassador? What would that be like?

Lisa

So the-- we have quite a few that run by our ambassadors. They literally dropping lounges. So you can just drop in the kind of theme around them like they have a happy Friday one don't they?

Alex

Yeah.

Lisa

And--

Alex Walker

A happy home day and feel good Friday--

Lisa

Yeah and stuff like that. And then the first ones are more a little bit more structured. They've really arrived getting to know people. So although it's a big zoom session. We're going to break out rooms. So we always have like a topic of conversation. So and the back rooms on the hold, like three to four people in them. So we really get to know each other. And what's beautiful about this is you watching people kind of connect on the Zoom. They're going these breakout rooms. And then the next thing they do like taking pictures with each other, because if they're open, go out and create these friendships. And honestly, I believe if I've be lying if I didn't sit there. Like I'll ring Alex, Oh listen them to the friends now.

Alex Walker

We've actually had our first Bee Sober relationship. They've moved in together.

Lisa

That was our first Bee Sober lover. Yeah.

Alex

Oh. That's amazing.

Alex Walker

What's funny. What's funny is Lisa will actually say to them, don't worry if the people in your room do you wedding. You get put into a new room soon. So don't worry if they bore you. Be with someone else in a minute.

Lisa

It's true. We always shake it up. But yeah, they did good. They love them. It's really, really good.

Alex

That's amazing. Cool. I'd be so interested in checking that out. Yeah, I would love to--

Alex Walker

They are on the website for anyone to book. So if you go on the website and you go on to the what's on, there's a you can book any of the drop in lounges and hop along to them.

Lisa

We will send you a link for Thursday one Alex. So you see the first ones like yeah.

Alex

That would be amazing. And I'll share in our episode description like any links you guys have on how to book into those lounges. I bet my community would be super interested in that as well, too.

Lisa

Oh, thank you so much. I love doing stuff like this. Make sure you tell us what we can share--

Alex

Yeah.

Lisa

We tackle on same things. We can share it.

Alex Walker

Well, you doing sober yoga, don't you?

Alex

Yeah, so my community is like a zoom based community as well. And we do-- we have a small group for our sober yoga classes which have a maximum of ten participants and we do a check in. It's kind of like a pick up the talking six share how you're at and then we go into the yoga practice. So it's great. And then we do have sober community circles as well. We don't have anything like what you describe, which is really cool because it's a little bit different with you guys in the little breakout rooms. I love that idea. Yeah. So it sounds like it would be really-- there would be interest because they're kind of two different offerings in probably between both.

Lisa

Yeah, definitely. That would be great.

Alex Walker

Well, if you have ever fancied doing yoga event. Get in touch with us and let us know because yeah we can we can look and doing the yoga event. With not a yoga event, right?

Lisa

No and I should be good at yoga you know, Alex. I feel like I'm the type that people assume I do yoga and I'm like, get a I should do that.

Alex

Well, I'll send along the link. You guys will have to join. It would be amazing. Dropped into one of our sober yoga soon.

Lisa

Yeah. That would be great.

Alex Walker

Yeah. Get in touch with Lisa about any event and stuff like that you've got. Let's get, let's get you doing an event to Bee Sober.

Alex

Oh. Amazing. All right. So I have one last question for you guys. I'm wondering if anyone is curious about a sober journey, interested in starting. What would you say? What advice would you give to them?

Alex Walker

Do you want to go first Lis? Because I always sneak yours.

Lisa

Yeah, you do. I never prepare for things like this. Honestly, for me personally, it was reading. And I'm not a big reader. So audible and quickly.

Alex

Yeah.

Lisa

And that thing of listening to people and knowing that, you know, on your own is was massive for me. So reading was a really, really big thing. And just seeing-- I know well, just seeing it as an experiment, you know, you just see what lives who are you with. I think when you can ask that question, you'll find some very good answers.

Alex Walker

Yeah, I think as well with what Lisa's just said, it's not fixed in a forever label to it. So it's a lot easier to kind of digest it. You just going to try it out. But for me, weirdly, I feel like we've taken each others up here because for me it's about surrounding yourself with people who are on the same journey. So find in the community. So that works for you. I feel like that's what you would normally say. And I would say reading Lisa.

Lisa

Really. I think because we were talking before and we've just spoke by Gabby's book and then like the first thing I did was actually pick up the "Unexpected Joy of Being Sober". So for me, that was the first the start of it.

Alex Walker

Yeah. Maybe. So yeah. Reading--

Lisa

Because I would have been able to surround myself in a community like we have people you know, who come out of the lounges and the like, but I'm starting now and they stop drinking the day before. And I think that is so brave because there is no chance like two days into sobriety. I have been looking for people to me. I just want to be on my own in my own bubble, just trying to--

Alex Walker

Getting any anxieties.

Lisa

Yeah. I just like that would leave me alone. Everybody. I didn't live up to something like that.

Alex Walker

Can I just add something as well Alex? I think is important. And I forgot to elaborate earlier with my anxiety and depression. I said I found out afterwards. What I wanted to point out as well is that it's managed now by not drinking. I've not had any medication for that. So even though it came out and it was picked during my sobriety by just sticking with it and working through things sober. I've been able to find tools to manage it. And I didn't mention that earlier. I think it's very important and just get anxious because I stopped drinking and then I'm stuck as an anxious person. I'm really not. It's almost gone.

Lisa

Load of times. I was like will you just take your tablets. She's like, no I'm going through a lot. We should just check.

Alex Walker

It took a long time. I was like you know, probably 18 months. But I'm so glad I didn't do it. I'm not suggesting for a minute that people shouldn't, because I think that's really important. If you recognize in sobriety that you have got a mental health condition, the best thing I ever did was speak to my GP. I know it's hard but just to reach out and speak to GP is massively important.

Alex

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, there's so many people, like I personally take mood stabilizers for my mood, but there are so many people that I speak to along the way who have had mental health struggles while drinking and like you guys describe, can never-- don't realize the massive role that the alcohol is playing in. And, you know, the transition period for me, fortunately, it wasn't 18 months. It was a bit shorter of like a struggle, but it was definitely you know, there were two weeks where I felt like my lowest with my mood. And as you say, you just have to keep going because it's your brain is kind of restabilizing all the different things, right? All the alcohol. And once it's removed, it's not going to be instant. Like you wake up on day one sober and you're like, Okay, life is good, but it takes time. And for everyone, it's a different period of time. It's just like being consistent and being committed and keep yeah, working towards it.

Alex Walker

Yeah, it's definitely doing the work. That's why it's not only about getting sober, that's just the start of the whole self development.

Lisa

You actually want to do though because I think that's something. You know, if somebody just said to me. About getting sober then you've got to do all this work. I'd be like oh can't be bothered with all that. Watch your live. First thing to do is get sober, isn't it? And then you find that you actually do want to put the work like naturally.

Alex Walker

Yeah, definitely.

Alex

Absolutely. Well, Alex and Lisa, it was so nice to have you on the show. I am so happy we did this together as a duo because it was just so inspiring to hear your story. And I really appreciate the time that you took to be on the show and super looking forward to connecting and joining your events and you guys trading ours and kind of seeing how we can kind of collaborate in the cyber world.

Alex Walker

I'd love them.

Lisa

We can't wait with you on our podcast.

Alex Walker

There you go twin C. You have us together we say the same thing.

Alex

So amazing.

Alex Walker

Thank you so much.

Lisa

Thank you Alex.

Alex

Take care. Bye.

Outro

Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of Sober Yoga Girl with Alex McRobs. I am so grateful for every one of you. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next one and leave a review before you go. See you soon. Bye.