Updated: Jan 25, 2022
Kate Lindley is a mindset coach and thinking partner on a sober journey! Originally from Canada, Kate has lived overseas throughout her twenties, currently residing in the Middle East. Like me, she worked in Kuwait as a teacher before settling in the UAE. In this episode Kate and I discuss her story and journey and how she moved towards sobriety.
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Kate is currently building her coaching business and also offers kids yoga. She can be found on Instagram @kindnesswith.kate. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/.
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Intro: Welcome to the "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast with Alex McRobs, international yoga teacher and sober coach. I broke up with booze for good in 2019. And now I'm here to help others do the same. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how. all right hello everyone welcome back to another episode of sober yoga girl i am super excited to be sitting down today with kate lindley and kate is a mindset coach and she is based in dubai and what i love about kate is that we have kind of a similar journey similar story in that we were both teachers in kuwait and then teachers in the uae and now pursuing the career of coaching so i think it's going to be a really awesome conversation today so welcome kate how are you thank you so much alex thank you for having me on your podcast i'm doing very well i'm super excited going on vacation tomorrow and yeah high vibe feeling great amazing i'm good i know you're going to sri lanka which is one of my favorite places and i know one of your favorite places too that will be amazing super paradise ready to chill and have different landscape be by the ocean and just relax yeah oh awesome so kate why don't we start off i know a lot about you but i was wondering if you could tell our audience or our community a little bit about yourself so where you're from where you're based whatever you want to share yep so i'm canadian i grew up in canada and i've been living outside of canada for about 10 years um teaching and traveling so traveling's my passion teaching is my career and so i've been an international expat for some time i first moved to korea in 2011 and then to turkey i worked on a cruise ship i lived in kuwait and now i'm residing in the beautiful country of uae and i've been here for the past four years wow wait you worked on a cruise ship i did yeah i had no idea yeah i think that was 2012. um so it was based out of miami and then new orleans and new york city so i got to see most of the caribbean islands yeah experience yeah that's amazing what did you do on the cruise ship so i was a youth counselor and it was like um glorified babysitter let's say so when parents wanted to go out and have dinner or go to the club on the ship they would um they would bring their kids to the facility and then we would have a whole bunch of different um themes and fun games and things for them to do so yeah wow basically like a babysitter but that much more special yeah it was great and i met a lot of people international people that was kind of my second experience being exposed to such a diverse group and yeah it just really opened my eyes to different cultures which is amazing wow that's so cool yeah thanks so tell me a bit about your drinking story when did you start drinking okay so this brings me back to grade nine so i started drinking in grade nine that was the first time uh when i got drunk with my my best friend uh fireball whiskey i cannot forget that because you're on a small beach in canada yeah my journey with drinking is not a pleasant one let's say i drank to get drunk and i'm very impulsive and very excited when i drink and so yeah it was a very tumultuous relationship i thought i could make it work and just have casual drinks this and that but from the start it was very toxic let's say yeah it was a toxic relationship which i knew maybe not right away but uh as the years went by i knew that it was something that energetically speaking and for my physical body just everything it didn't make sense for me to drink so yeah throughout high school i would go on vendors university i was like at four nights a week i would go out to different bars and clubs and and yeah basically just get [ __ ] faced and then have to pay for it the next day because i have a very sensitive body and it led to bad health condition i've guessed chronic gasteritis now so all together yeah it's just not meant for me so it has been a really um yeah tumultuous relationship and i'm very grateful and i'm very happy with myself and my development and my understanding about myself and my ability to let it go yeah which is huge yeah been really hard and in turkey so i lived in turkey for six months that was also a very um dark time in my life uh drinking in order to escape from my current reality and then when i left turkey i was sober for about nine months it was like an on and off journey of like okay binge drinking or like trying to drink less and then just none at all and then slowly slowly i realized like okay vodka is not working for me wrong hoping for me because my body just couldn't take it i used to get rashes yeah and just very sick the next day like i'm not joking when i say i was hungover from 7 00 a.m till 7 pm vomiting beside the toilet full disclosure i'm just gonna be very honest it really really broke down my body and i have the ramifications of that let's say because i have chronic gasteritis so i really just had to keep myself in check so yeah would you like me to speak a little bit about how i became fully sober yeah that would be great as i said i went um from drinking to not drinking back and forth that was about i would say like eight years maybe even ten years and then i did a lot of self-reflection whenever i was writing things like okay uh what are you holding on to what do you need to let go of it was always alcohol i was always like and the way my brain works i'm very much like fatalist person like i knew that something really bad was going to happen and i just like had this inner desire to let it go but it was just because of my lifestyle and the normalized fashion of drinking it was just really hard until i went to um new york city this was in 2019 yeah 2019 i went to new york city i met this energy healer worker lady i was very drawn towards her i had just done i remember when i reflect on it i had just done a tarot card reading a day before and then the next day i i went to this beautiful booth and i was just so drawn to it i was like okay i really need to spend time with this lady i met her and she said let's just have a full awakening an energetic awakening a spiritual awakening whatever you want to call it so i was like you know what i'm 100 110 in let's do it the first thing she said is okay what's holding you back from tapping into your highest self to becoming your full potential to living your dharma this and that and i was like okay the number one thing is alcohol alcohol is literally bringing me down i'm here when i drink it brings me down way way lower let's say like and then vibrationally when i don't drink i'm much higher so i was like okay it's the one thing that's bringing me down that was july 2nd uh 2019 and since then i haven't had a single drop so yeah it was just like from that was just the catalyst to like this is the time and i just felt in my heart like out of your own self-respect and this is what it comes down to when i tell people and share my story i say it's about self-respect because what i was doing was so toxic and so yeah destructive it was destructive behavior and so like the amount of stories i can't even like i can't even count how many stories i have about these bad situations i got myself into and as i mentioned about my my adverse reaction uh to my physical body that alcohol had on me so yeah since then it's been like an upward trajectory let's say and so when i also explain this to people i like to say it's like a twofold path right so one way is like okay i know it's a dark place yeah maybe it's fun in the moment maybe i'm having a great time maybe i'm stepping outside of my comfort zone being more extroverted this and that and then it can lead to a lot more like getting in danger this and that like i all i'm it sounds a little bit extreme but it's really not because it's like it could be fatal too like i got to a point where like i was i got two concussions i wow closure i went to jail making uh very unwise choices not anything too bad it was fine just about a taxi run away from a taxi anyways uh and then the other side is just like sorry like a lot of stories and then in the on the other hand in the other way uh it's like unlimited potential like honestly you can do anything you're gonna be sober sober minded no hangover you have more clarity it's just all together because you know like alcohol is it's it's toxic it's a poison it's it brings out the worst in people like uh if you're able to drink um within reason then amazing kudos to you that's fine i'm not going to shame anyone who still drinks but at the same time for me like it just made me such a better person to be sober is it's so much better for myself uh and just last point on this so thinking i'm very much a believer in past lives and and trauma in past lives and i feel like i've carried some trauma or traumatic experiences from my past life into this life and i've done enough self work to understand that i feel like it's my purpose to um develop myself enough so that i can shed all of these things that i was bringing and from the past and evolve myself in such a way that i can become yeah even more amazing soul for um yeah from my next life when i reincarnate again so that in itself brings me so much joy and makes me so happy knowing that however whatever form i take when i reincarnate my soul will be you know that much better yeah that's beautiful no thank you kate i loved the way you described it being this twofold path because that's totally what it is right there's the one direction where it can be you know hangover and partying and taking risks and like you think it's fun in the moment but there's so much harm surrounded it and then there's the other side which is just i love how you said unlimited potential and i think so many people can relate to that right it's like so many people become sober and their lives just transform overnight and it's not a coincidence that this is happening simultaneously with quitting drinking right exactly it's just a perspective shift right when you think about that and then it's just so empowering to know that uh you don't have alcohol to bring you down anymore right which is great that in itself is enough for me yeah i have a random question for you so you're the only other guest that i've had on the show that has lived in kuwait which is an alcohol-free country and so i was wondering what your experience was like when you said that you were moving to kuwait like did you have any fear around it being alcohol-free like what were your feelings around that true well to be very honest i chose one of the reasons why i chose to move to kuwait was to slow down and to oh wow of partying go yeah so i strategically chose kuwait um instead of other countries where alcohol is readily available because i wanted to slow it down because i knew that that was something that was bringing me down i need to become more focused and less focused on on party atmosphere and alcohol and just just focus more on my career let's say so i i decided that because i knew it was a dry country um and that in itself i was super happy about that's really interesting because i had i had such a different relationship with it because i had no intentions of slowing down and so i was like dreading the fact that kuwait was alcohol free and everyone kept telling me you know you know it's alcohol free right how are you gonna survive and so i had such a dynamic with that part of it so i was just curious if you experienced that the same way but that's really interesting that you chose it for that purpose yeah i was like okay this makes sense i can move there i can save money i'm working at a canadian bilingual school so the curriculum made sense and i stayed there for three years it has many positives but all together was not the place for me so i decided to believe but it served me well for three years and and yeah but still when i went on vacation so you know being a teacher i had a lot of vacation time so when i did vacation i did um drink but uh yeah all together it was good to have the day-to-day um experience there was sober living and how was your experience then moving to the uae with the brunches and the ladies nights did you find that difficult yeah um my first year here i'll be very honest was a little bit of a blur yeah i was very much into the party scene going out maybe not every weekend but when i did see that's the problem that was the problem when i did go out i don't have a limit you know those people that are like i'm just gonna go for one oh no that that's not kate kate goes for like okay says she's gonna go for one and then it turns into jagermeister shots okay this and that like a very heavy heavy alcohol that will just make me black out so i made some very unsafe choices and yeah i'm happy that within this time because um dubai well dubai is whatever you want it to be you can spend all your time partying or you can do other things like i right now have involved in the vegan community yoga community this and that but at first yeah i was very much uh over consuming and yeah indulging too much especially the brunches because as you know it's like very very good in this atmosphere you can literally just have as much as you want and for me that was the thing as well i just didn't know the limit and i was drinking very fast and i got super excited and part of my personality especially when i'm drinking i'm an instigator so i'm not like one person that would say like oh i think you should no i'm literally like oh let's have another shot another shot like yeah i would just get into the mood of it so yeah and i love what you said there of dubai is whatever you want it to be and i think that's true about every place in the world because i met this guy a few weeks ago who told me that i shouldn't come to bali if i want to be sober and i should you know live in jakarta because jakarta is better for sobriety and i was like that's really interesting because i've been to bali three times and i and i've only been around a party scene like one time and it was a really interesting conversation we had back and forth because you know he had specifically come to bali several winters from the states and he had all his party friends and his dj friends and his like rave friends and so for him bali is about partying and i was like well for me bali's not about partying and it's really interesting how that's exactly anywhere can be however you want to be but also sometimes you need to remove yourself from an environment if you've made it the way that you want it to be and it's no longer serving you anymore you know
most definitely it has to do with the environment the context and also the people so you mentioned your friend and then dj like it's the environment but it's the people right like you can have a bottle of wine just sitting in your house or you can be going you know it depends on that and i i lost a few friends that were i considered to be more so party friends or in hindsight now i think i'm like they were my party friends and because of that relationship and the change in me in my decisions to let alcohol go those friends also left but i think that's just the nature of life right people come into your life for a reason a season a lifetime and you just adapt grow and change and reflect on that yeah it's so true
so tell me about you kind of mentioned some of the challenges around friendships what was the hardest part for you around sobriety yeah that's a good question it's hard for me to pinpoint because i knew that it was such a long time coming that i could easily just do it cold turkey right like sometimes people would say oh well don't you miss like having wine or beer and then i would just cross my mind for a second and then i would be like yeah but no so perhaps it's just within me because i'm very intrinsically motivated so within me it's been fine um all together i haven't felt like i would ever relapse or anything but yeah i think it has to do more with relationships so let's say i have a really good friend who we met in costa rica and went to several different countries and and the basis of our relationship was on party and drinking like we had a great relationship beyond that we're very spiritually inclined as well and now today we're still good friends but i do notice um i do notice that it does have to do with the relationships yeah so as i mentioned before about certain people in dubai and then there are some people that um let's say there's more um more to the relationship so besides that the most i think it has to do with as well when people ask me so i'm very it's kind of just second nature for me to explain to people how i do it why i do it this and that but i think it's more so when you're put on the spot and i don't want to say that i was ever shamed or like looked at weirdly but people do question like what is the motive and as long as you're truthful and honest i think it's fine so yeah as much as it was like a main component in my life getting sober it was i don't want to say easy but because everyone's journey is different but it was just so necessary that any sort of challenge like people ask me okay yeah it's a bit uh sometimes it can be annoying because they're like trying to pry and everything um when it's just so so simple for me um so all together yeah i do love going out and dancing but i can still go out and dance so that's not like context is not really a challenge and then yeah socialization is fine my circle is smaller now but i'm content with that it's fine yeah i love how you use the word necessary because i love that word of like it was just so necessary to me and i think i feel the same way about it it's just so necessary to me that i'd be sober that it's not really a question i knew it my parents knew it but my parents knowing me very well they weren't pushing me to do it but like they were just so happy when when i told them and they're a little bit shocked yeah so yeah um and it is yeah it's a necessary thing and as i mentioned it's about self-respect right it's about doing it for yourself because at the end of the day all you have is yourself and that might seem like a little cynical but i've been through a lot in my life and i've learned that it's it's true right like yeah love my family love my close friends most of them are in canada all i have at the end of the day is myself so i have to pull myself out of these dark places or before i had to and now it doesn't happen as much because i'm not subjecting myself to being in these dark places yes life is perfect and and it's a journey people go through things life throws curveballs at you but knowing that alcohol is not one of those because alcohol is not even a curveball it's a straight like it's an uppercut or it's like a straight jab okay now i'm moving from baseball to boxing but you know what i mean metaphorically speaking it's like direct smack to the face so and what have been some of the best parts of being sober oh fresh mornings waking up early every single day i wake up i do my morning practice my my gratitude journal everything um closure not vomiting beside the toilet for 12 hours straight also besides like the the feeling of my physical body like knowing that i'm able to share my story with others and then hearing them their responses them getting inspired and and just knowing that i i did it and i can do it and it's going to help me overall in my future and then next life and i just feel so liberated and empowered and yeah excited it's just like uh i just feel like a elated essentially super happy yeah yeah amazing and tell me how you have gotten into coaching now and where are you headed with that i always have thought about being in some sort of okay yes being a teacher is a part of the helping profession but i considered becoming a psychologist or a therapist of some sort for some time and then i thought about life coaching because i want to help and inspire others mind you when i started my coaching course my idea of coaching what it is but it isn't is way different than what i learned it actually is but still i can use my my experience my knowledge to to help others in whatever way shape or form they might need help in or rather guidance i like to consider myself to be a thinking partner uh and helping with their mindset so whatever they're going through whether it's alcohol related or not helping them yeah to to have shifts in perspectives and insights and and growth and development to better themselves overall um so i think that coaching is amazing profession because little one conversation the impact of one conversation can be tremendously catastrophic let's say in a good way oh right it only takes one conversation to ignite that spark in someone or to provide that insight or or to reframe in such a way where the person is like yes okay from this day forward i'm holding myself accountable to make changes um and to take control of my life and to yeah and to better myself so if i'm able to help someone um or help 1 000 different peoples different individuals i feel at the end of the day that i'm super yeah i'm super humbled by that and i'm yeah i'm very gracious to the universe that's that's i was put on this earth to to help others um yeah and using my natural gifts of being very intuitive allows me to really uh tap into the other person and to to help them in that way so yeah i think coaching is uh an amazing thing and i'm happy that i'm i'm going to utilize my um skills in teaching in coaching as well and then kind of snowball that into something bigger and to hopefully um yeah have my own business which will happen very soon it's in the process that's why i'm saying snowball because it's getting bigger and bigger day by day but it's up to me to put in the effort so yeah yeah amazing and i love have watching that whole process unfold and you journeying through you know making reels on instagram and getting more specific in your offerings and it's pretty amazing to see you your journey yeah the the amount of motivation you have to have but at the end of the day knowing that it is a purpose that i have to fulfill um in order to make a difference for other people yeah and you you so well you will be such an amazing coach you're such an amazing person and have such a great energy yeah thank you so much though i appreciate you saying that likewise for you so if anyone listening wants to find you on social media where can they find you um i think probably the easiest place to find me is on instagram my handle is with full stop or period or dot kate so anyone and everyone can reach out to me there send me a message and i'd be happy happy to connect with you uh i'm in the process of building a website so to be announced about my website and otherwise yeah i would say that instagram was probably the main channel for communication with me amazing and i have one last question for you if you have any advice for someone who wants to quit drinking or start a sober journey what advice would you give them a good one uh quite a few things come to mind it's important to know that you have to start somewhere but just to imagine and i'm very big on visualization but just to imagine the possibilities like the two-fold path that i described before imagine the possibilities of letting it go right and stepping out of this old skin and just stepping into a realm of of newness freshness and infinite positive um infinite possibilities full stop that's it a word of encouragement you can do it right it doesn't matter what anyone else says if it's something that you feel is no longer serving you just let it go if you need to look to some sort of support services or work with a coach or listen to a podcast get a book whatever resources you need go for it everyone's journey is different but as long as you start that's the main thing oh wow i just got shivers imagine the possibilities of letting it go it's so true yeah yeah
because i feel like people are fixed in this uh mentality of it's a super fun and you know more lively this and that but it's just for me it's just not worth it and i feel like a lot of people can empathize with that because they know that it's not it's not high vibe it's not bringing them up it's actually bringing them down but it's just because of society and the cultural conditioning especially north american um that it's just a normalized behavior and a normalized beverage or it's normalized to have a beverage at uh at a party or it's dinner whatever the case might be but it doesn't have to be that way it starts with you and you can make a difference with infinite possibilities for yourself yeah amazing well kate thank you so much for taking time to be on the show it was really lovely to hear a different aspect of your journey hearing about your sober story and i really appreciate the time that you took to sit down with me so thank you so much you're welcome alex you're most welcome and thank you for hearing my story i really appreciate it and i hope that it inspires at least one person at the end of the day for me it's just as long as one person it resonates with them and they're compelled to make a change that's that's enough for me so thank you so much i love that i'm awesome inspired by you so thank you for doing what you're doing thank you right back at you thanks all right happy holidays in sri lanka tomorrow enjoy i can't wait to see the instagrams thank you yeah it's going to be fun i'm very excited and enjoy your trip back to abu dhabi in dubai thank you you're welcome see you soon okay take care bye
Outro: Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of "Sober Yoga Girl" with Alex McRobs. I am so, so grateful for every one of you. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next one and leave a review before you go. See you soon. Bye.