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Sober Yoga Girl Podcast - Satya: Living Our Truth with Kristen Hutchinson





Transcript


Hi, friend. This is Alex McRobs, founder of The Mindful Life Practice, and you're listening to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world to the Middle East at age 23, and I never went back. I got sober in 2019, and I now live full-time in Bali, Indonesia. I've made it my mission to help other women around the world stop drinking, start yoga, and change their lives through my online Sober Girls Yoga community. You're not alone, and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to... This is our second edition of our How to Live Yoga with Alex and Kristen. So if you're just tuning in, I am Alex. I'm joining today in Fawley. Kristen is in Waterdown, Ontario. So we're literally on two sides of the world. And every week on Mondays throughout the summer, we're getting together and talking about a specific yoga philosophy concept. And so we're moving through the yamas of yoga. And this week we're starting to talk about Satya, which is truth. So as you're watching along, if you want to comment where you are in the world, and if you have any questions for us about the concept of Satya, what Satya means, anything as we go along, I'm going to have the comments up beside me so that we can answer your questions and make it a little interactive.

How are you doing this morning, Kristen?

I'm doing great. I was just saying I love starting my weeks with this conversation. I just find it so rewarding and so grateful to be here with you.

Awesome. Yeah, it's so nice. I really look forward to it. I look forward to it because I'm teaching a lot of yoga these days, but right now I'm teaching a lot of asana and postures, and I don't have any... A lot of yoga philosophy lessons or classes in my schedule right now. And so this is a really nice way to bring yoga to my life in a different format or a different way.

Yeah, absolutely.

So we have Sarah watching. We have Calleigh watching. Hello. That's weird because I've seen Sarah and Calleigh's comments, but I don't see the little number at the corner saying anyone's watching. So obviously the number is incorrect.

But nice to have you both here.

And yeah. So today's topic is Satya, and I'm just going to read out a little definition of what Satya means. So Satya is truth or truthfulness, and this is about being honest with yourself, being honest with others. Practicing Satya means living in a way that aligns with your highest truth and refraining from lying with emphasis on being authentic and real. And it's also refraining from judgment and making sure that you speak and act with thought and intention and not just saying whatever is on your mind. I'm wondering, as we kick us off, what does Satya mean for you? Yeah.

The more I've reflected on this, there's so much that I think it means to me and so many different practices. I think it evolves as you peel back your learning of it. For me, it started with just the whole notion of whatever I say, is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind? That was my initial practice of how I brought Satya in so that whatever I was saying was truthful.

But.

Then as conversations have unfolded over the years with you and through some of the lots of the classes we take together, I think that it's morphed into also... We talked a lot about the whole judgment culture and engaging in gossip, that thing, and removing myself from anything that just doesn't feel good or doesn't resonate with my values and isn't truthful and isn't kind. So bringing in a little bit of a himself and Sacha into one a little bit. That's why I think we talked last week about how a himself comes through all the yamas and intertwines with it. But more recently, in the past two weeks, I really experienced a new level of Satya that I've heard people talk about in theory, but actually experiencing it myself. I shared a little bit of this story with you yesterday, but I had a situation where for the past five years, I had been telling myself a specific story, and for me, that story was true. There was something that happened last week where I was shown a whole different side of that story, and it involved a text message conversation between me and my dad, who's no longer with us, where what I had told myself was true, and it still holds true in a sense, but there's this second truth to it now.

There can be multiple versions of the truth, and it doesn't mean that my memory was wrong of what I thought the truth was in that one moment, but it's morphed. I can now accept the second version of the truth as being true at the same time, if that makes sense.

Yeah. And it's so fascinating and it's such a great example of that idea is I think when we are raised as children, we're taught that the truth is like this black and white concept of there is one subjective truth and that's it. And to realize that there's so many different, or not subjective, objective. Subjective means that there's different. There's one objective truth. And really it's subjective, and it's based on our own lens of the world and the way we're viewing things in our experience and our interpretation. When you realize that, you realize that there can be multiple truths to every moment.

I think you've shared an example of this before, but where you enter into a situation with someone and your perception of what happened is one thing and the other person walks away with a completely different perception. That doesn't mean that either of your truths are wrong. It just means exactly that. There's different versions of that truth. Sometimes it's also the memory's way of protecting yourself from something that might be hurtful, which I think is true for my scenario. There's a lot of grief involved and there's a lot of pain. For whatever reason, I clung to this one story because that kept me safe. Now it's peeling back the layers to accept how this new truth interacts with that past truth.

Thanks for sharing. You also said something at the very beginning about just this idea of a himsa weaving through truth. Let's talk about that for.

A moment. I think a lot of the times we can get caught up in the whole notion of just judging people, gossiping about people. When we talk about the truth and speaking with kindness and intention and those three basic questions that is it truth, is it necessary, is it kind? You see that kindness is weaved throughout. A hymnsat is nonviolence, which can also be being kind to ourselves and others. So when you then weave that into how do we bring that into our words, our thoughts, our actions of Satya and our being truthful and honest, you can see how the two have that intersection point. Totally.

I've been thinking about that actually a lot in the past couple of days because we... So when we did this a hymns or chat last week, there was something that I said on the live that I said because I was saying it within this Facebook group of Sober Girls Yoga, and I know that the people involved are not going to hear me say it because I don't think any of them are part of the Sober Girls Yoga Facebook group. And it was something related to something that's happening on my yoga teacher training that I'm hosting here in Bali right now. And I've been thinking a lot about that this week because I don't think any of them have seen this live, but we're about to post this as a podcast. It has a podcast episode. And I'm like, I really need to say to my podcast producer that we need to cut out just that one example because it is true. What I said in the video is true. But if people on the training heard that recording and were able to connect it to who I'm speaking about in the training and know that I was talking about the scenario in the training on a public platform like this.

I'm like, Okay, it's true, but is it necessary? Is it kind? We can get the point without that example being included. And in many cases, I would try to tell the story without it being obvious who's involved. But in this case, it's like the timing and the fact that I did this recording while this training is happening and there's one guy on the training, they all know it's him. It would just be better if I just cut that little segment out and I'm probably going to text my producer after this and be like, Can we please cut.

The quote?

I think that's one example of the.

Truth.

Is the truth. But if it's not necessary and it's going to cause harm, then do we really need to bring it up and say it?

Yeah, absolutely. And that point is exactly it. Is it going to cause harm? We may have a truth that is just shouting in us, and we're just feeling overwhelmed by that truth. But if that truth is going to not do necessarily any good, besides maybe making yourself feel relieved of this truth and you're putting it perhaps on someone else, is it going to cause harm to that other person? Because if it is, then maybe we just need to sit with that and allow that to remain within us. That's again, going back to truthfulness. It's still true, but it's nonviolent, not in the sense of actually physical violence, but harming someone. Definitely, I think that's awesome that you were able to see that. I think that sometimes when we step back from scenarios, that's when you see it from that other lens of the potential to cause harm. Totally.

I think sometimes in the grand scheme of things, the things that I worry about, the things that I say that I worry about, in comparison to what some of the stuff that other people are putting on social media, I'm like, Okay, it's.

Really minuscule in the grand scheme.

Of life. At the.

End of the.

Day, it.

Probably wouldn't.

Really cause that many problems like people. But we sometimes get these ideas in our head and then it's like, Okay, it's.

Just easier.

If we reduce harm as much as we can.

Yeah, absolutely. I was thinking about it when you were just sharing that. I was sharing an example last week about a conversation that I was having with a friend around social media and filters and all of that. I think I mentioned that something just didn't feel good inside of me, and that was the whole notion of engaging in judgment talks or gossipy talks. In that moment, I chose to say I'm sending her love or whatever it was, but that was because I was staying true and truthful to myself, which was I don't want to engage in harmful comments or untrue comments and judgment. I think you and I have talked about how we both grew up in that, I don't know, time of judgment and getting sucked into the gossip world and all of that. Sometimes it's just being aware of the conversations that we're engaging in and noticing if it's kind, if it's true, if it's necessary to engage in that, and is there another way in which we could engage?

Yeah. And that's a big thing too, that gossip. Actually, I found myself sucked into a gossip conversation the other day, which yeah, it's so alluring and seductive. I think sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it. But I got sucked into gossip about just in the Bali yoga world about some teachers and some drama on their yoga teacher training. And it's really at the end of the day, it has no impact on my life. I know how I feel about these people based on the interaction I've had with them or I can make my own judgments on them, and I don't need to hear stories of their personal life or their personal struggles. That's going to change at all the relationship I have with them. And it actually makes me less... It makes me... This is really interesting. I always come to these big conclusions. I'm like, Maybe that's why I'm feeling uneasy around this certain person is because of all these gossipy conversations that I'm getting engaged into about things happening in Bolly, which at the end of the day, when you gossip about other people, I find... My friend, Rory, said this to me, and this has stayed with me forever.

He said, When you gossip about other people, it doesn't make you trust the other person or distrust the other person. It makes you distrust the person gossiping. And I always think about that because it's like, the people that I've never heard gossip, I trust with my whole heart. Rory is one, the person who said that to me, I have never heard him gossip in my entire life of 10 years of friendship, and I trust him so much. Or Kyle, this guy that I dated for a couple of months this year, I'm like, I have never heard him gossip about anyone or speak negatively about anyone. And I trust him. He's the most trustworthy person because I know that he's not saying anything bad about me and so that whole culture. But it's so easy to get sucked in. I didn't even realize I had done it until we started this conversation. I was like, Oh, my God, I was gossiping yesterday.

Yeah, for sure. And definitely I feel like it's everywhere with social media too. Sometimes you have to almost peel yourself back and look at it from a higher lens of to see that it's actually happening. But sometimes you just get that nickel of like, This just doesn't feel good. There's nothing wrong with we're just removing yourself from the conversation. But I think that's beautiful advice that I gave because absolutely putting myself in that scenario, I would distrust that person who's gossiping more than the person that they're talking about, for sure.

I have a question for you on... There's been stuff coming out this week with like, I forget what her name is, but there's a surfer celebrity who's talking about the Joan Hill relationship. I've been posting a lot about it on Instagram. And I don't know what you think about this, but I feel like in this specific environment of women, a lot of women being in manipulative relationships, I feel in this scenario, by someone shedding light on that experience, I feel it's uplifting to the voices of other people who have been in abusive relationships. And then I know there's other people on the internet who are like, You shouldn't post text messages from relationships or whatever. I think that is an example of her sharing her truth. What do you think about that?

Yeah, I can see it from different perspectives, I think. I can see it from the perspective of sharing her truth. If you break it down for her, was it necessary? Yes, because it's opening up or shedding light to what you just said to other women who might be going through it to maybe leave situations that are similar and feeling like there's other people who understand. If putting myself in her shoes, if she were to ask herself is it true, is it necessary? She wasn't necessarily doing it from a place of harm, like her intent. We don't know her intent, but her intent may have not been to harm, Joan Hill. It could have just been to help other women who might be experiencing the same thing. Now people on the internet are maybe taking it from the whole notion of she's trying to harm, Joan Hill. But I think nobody knows what her intent was to be able to make that call. So for her, the intent could have purely just been sharing that experience and uplifting other women and allowing people to feel not alone, in which case I don't think there's anything wrong.

I think it all comes down to the whole notion of what the.

Intent was. I love that. It all comes down to intention. Yeah. And no matter what you do, people are... This comes back to, Oh, my God. This comes back to just what we were talking about, how there's many truths in every scenario, and it's so subjective. And so people are going to put their own lens and their own truth on this based on what their experience. And from my perspective, I think it's... I feel like I'm looking at it from her perspective as I don't think her intention was to harm. And I also feel like it's so scary. As we're talking about it, I'm just thinking about, man, it's so scary to stand up to a celebrity man in that way and the ramifications and the risk that you can put yourself in, I think. So I think it's a courageous act if it comes from an intention of awareness.

Yeah.

Absolutely. Yeah. And, Cali says, I'm with you, Alex. Yeah. All right, let's look at some of the practices for Satya. So speaking with kindness and intention, we talked about that, living in alignment with your truth, avoiding burying your feelings and emotions to appease others. Oh, that's a really good one. By the way, as we're chatting, if anyone watching along has any questions or comments or things they want to jump in on, feel free to jump in and share. But that's something that actually I've been working on basically this whole year is like, I really struggle with telling my truth and expressing how I feel to people around me. And then I just get really annoyed. And then I end up sharing my annoyance with the people I'm dating. It's so weird. I'll share it in the Silver Girl circles and then the people I'm dating. And I noticed it this year because I was dating someone for two months, and I was like, I'm always getting annoyed and telling him how annoyed I am at people. And he never experiences the feeling of being annoyed. And then I started realizing I think I'm super passive-aggressive, and I have a hard time expressing my emotions.

And then it ends up coming out with me and me talking about the person behind their back or getting passive-aggressive or whatever. And the funny thing is that I even was doing that on a date I went on two days ago. And then I was texting the guy after and he asked, How is the rest of your day? I told him, Oh, this thing happened. And he said to me, Do you think it would be worth telling.

The.

Person that you're annoyed with. And I was like, Oh, my God. I texted him back like.

Thank you.

For shedding light on.

This.

Flaw of mind because this is something I've been working on this whole year, is that I don't actually tell the person that I'm annoyed with. And I think that comes from the way many of us, as women are raised, is we're not taught to express our emotions. Anyway, I think that comes down to living your truth is like me being able to have an open upfront conversation of like, Hey, this is bothering me. This thing that you're doing, as it will continue to escalate. I know the pattern for my life. It's just going to continue to escalate until it blows out. Whereas if I addressed it head on right now, it would probably diffuse the situation a lot. So that, I think, for me, is my focus for Satya these days.

I resonate a lot with that because I have a hard time just having those direct conversations of sharing how I feel. Part of it, I think, it's absolutely upbringing, but I think it was also experiences of when I had tried that in my past, and you might be able to relate to this and you might not, but especially with... What's the right way to say it? But unhealthy men, for example, they have a great way of spinning that back to you leave it of like, Oh, I was wrong. It almost is now retraining myself to trust that what I'm feeling and what I'm sharing is worthy of being told to somebody from a place of like, Let's work on this together and let's fix this because I don't want to feel like this. I'm sure you don't want to feel like this. Let's come to that mutual ground. But it was often a learned thing. That wasn't safe for a long time. So it's relearning that for me, for sure.

Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. For me, it wasn't something that was supported or honored and often gaslit. My emotions were like, awesome, gaslit. Yeah, and that's it. That's the word, yes. Yeah. I then restrain from sharing them.

Absolutely.

I guess that comes with time. I guess that comes with time and then also awareness of getting yourself away from unhealthy relationships rather than continuing to remain in them. Yeah. All right. I have some journal prompts in front of me. I'm going to share these. Cali says, I love the intent talk from Kristen. That's so valid. I love that for sure. Okay, so some journal prompts. If you want to do some journaling on Satya this week, some things we can journal about. What is my true purpose? What's preventing me from sharing my authentic self? What steps can I take to move towards being my authentic self? Who do I hide my feelings from? And how can I express my feelings to this person and myself with more compassion? Anyone else has any other ideas or any thoughts or questions as the week goes on?

Feel free to.

Pop them in the comments. Are there any other things that came up or thoughts you want to share?

Kristen? When you were just reading some of the journal prompts, I was just thinking about the whole notion of authenticity, which I know is a large talk in our topic, I should say, in our Silver Circles and different things where people are really trying to—I don't know, this word is my favorite word of the year—heal from their past and tap back into their authentic selves. This is a beautiful practice of that because it's starting to learn what is true for me in terms of what my values are? What is true for me in terms of what I like? How can I connect everything I do back to that place? Then I'm living from that authentic space, which is another practice of satya and a himself because you're being kind to yourself of connecting with the truthfulness from the perspective of kindness.

I love that. And, Kelly says, Can you repeat the prompts? I'm going to put them, I'll put them as comments at the very end, and then people will just have them written down. So if anyone's watching along and they're curious about getting involved with our community or learning more, Kristen supports me in a lot of the programs that we run here at the Mind and Boy's Practice. So we have the Sober Girls Yoga 30-day challenge, which you can join at any time and jump in. And that group meets on Saturdays at 09:00 AM Eastern, a standard time. And that is a wonderful way to get started in our community. You can also join our membership and join some of our regular classes. And we do have our online yoga teacher training. We don't have a new one starting for a while, but that is an option and opportunity as well. And feel free to DM us or ask us any questions if you have any.

Curiosity about anything.

That's amazing. Awesome. All right. Well, have a great Monday. And next week we will be back on with the concept of a, which is non-feeling. So this week, feel free to reflect on Satya, let us know any reflections, and then next week we'll be jumping in with that.

I'm looking forward to it.

All right. Have a great Monday, and I'll see you.

All soon. Thank you.