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Writer's pictureAlex McRobs

Shanna Toft's One Year Sober



I'm so excited to celebrate Shanna, one of the community members of the Mindful Life Practice, who is officially ONE YEAR SOBER! Shanna has graduated from the 30 Hour Sober Curious YTT, and is also currently a student in the Deep Dive into Sober Yoga. In Shanna's words: I am a yoga teacher for adults, teens and children with a trauma informed focus, an Ayurvedic Specialist, a podcast host called High Vibe HEALth, a recently a sober curious advocate.

I am very active and love to stay busy. As a wife, mom of 2 girls & 2 dogs, playing on my three tennis leagues, being of member of National Charity League with my 13 year old daughter, a forever student in health and wellness, I have found that being alcohol free is the way to go. I have been more motivated, focused, less reactive and more present in my family life and life.

I’m excited to share my journey with you all and I hope I can inspire at least one person to try this transformational lifestyle free of cognitive dissonance & fear! It’s really a magical place to be.


Listen here!


If you enjoyed this episode please don’t forget to subscribe, rate and share the podcast so it can reach more people that it will serve and benefit.


You can find out more about Shanna's business and work here:https://www.highvibehealthlife.net. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/.


Transcript


Alex: Hi friend this is Alex McRobbs founder of the Mindful Life Practice and you're listening to the Sober Yoga Girl podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world to the Middle East at age 23 and I never went back. I got sober in 2019 and I now live full-time in Bali, Indonesia. I've made it my mission to help other women around the world stop drinking, start yoga and change their lives through my online sober girls yoga Community. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling, let me show you how.


[Music]


Alex: Yay, we're here okay amazing. So, hello everyone. Good morning or afternoon or evening wherever you are in the world. We are coming at you today from I think the furthest possible time zones maybe maybe Melbourne, Australia is a little bit further but Shanna is all the way in Las Vegas and it's six in the morning and I'm all the way in Bali and it's 9pm at night and we are doing this live together today because it is shanna's one year sober today so congratulations.


[laugh]


Shanna: Thank you so much for having me here in this live. I'm so excited to be here.


Alex: it's so nice to have you and I was wondering if you were saying something right when we got on the call before we kind of sorted through all the technical difficulties and got it going but you were saying something about how good it felt to wake up this morning and just thinking about you know it being your one year and so I was just wondering if you could kind of synthesize like how that felt today?


Shanna: Yes, so it is last night was Halloween weekend and you know how it is with kids and trick-or-treating and it was four days of festivities with you know the kids and parties and events and dressing up and always having to be somewhere for four days in a row and the kids were out of school and I seriously would not be able to wake up here today at six at, four o'clock in the morning. So, I was so excited for this live. if I was hungover I would be feeling so exhausted, tired, cranky. I wouldn't want to do a life like this I would just want to sleep in my bed and you know, I would feel terrible. So, I just feel so good this morning I'm not hungover. I'm a little tired because it's been four days of festivities and you know that's not so bad. I have a tennis match today so I'll have enough energy to play tennis also and yeah so one year and feeling really amazing.


Alex: That is amazing. Congratulations and it's really special to be doing this milestone and celebrating with you live so. I think me corresponded like a little while back about doing the podcast episodes that you told me November 1st was your one year and I was like let's do it live so we've been talking about it for like a period of time and it's really exciting to finally be here and doing it.


Shanna: It's unbelievable that I even made it the year and I was telling myself I'm going to do a year and see how I feel and you know who knows what will happen after the year but since this year has come, I've been thinking a lot about, okay what is the next year gonna look like for me? Am I going to you know mindfully drink? But I don't want to. I really want to take another year off and you know be alcohol free and it might just continue I don't know what that's going to look like but for me right now it's definitely going to be another year alcohol free because it's just all of the Transformations have been miraculously like available to me.


Alex: That's amazing, so I was wondering if you could share with us a little bit about your journey pre-sobriety, like what led you to that moment last year on November 1st when you decided like it's going to be a year off?


Shanna: So, pre-journey, I well my the beginning of this journey started you know when I was a kid because my parents um, alcohol you know has just been embedded in my family history. My mom was pretty deep in her alcoholism when I moved in with my aunt and I told myself that I wouldn't be a drinker and I would you know uh you know, live life not drinking but then I moved to Las Vegas and I you know found that everybody drink and it was just a part of everyday society out here in Las Vegas and so I became a big party girl and in my 20s but then when I was 29 I was pregnant with my daughter. My first daughter and I just kept that in my mind you know, like do I want to be a drinker while I'm raising children? Well, my daughter is 13 years old now and it's still been in the back of my mind and when I was in my first Yoga Teacher Training I began to see that there is another way you know, other than living this life of um drinking, When you're uh celebrating, when you're stressed, there's always a reason to drink. So, in my first Yoga Teacher Training I began to see a different way and living a life of health and wellness and healing our bodies from the inside and out. So through that mindset that I was creating for myself, I decided you know that it's time that, it's time to quit and I was really stressed out during that time also. I was volunteering for my daughter's school I was you know, trying to drink and have fun and you know have that all of these stressors on my plate at all times but I wasn't really taking care of the problem uh while I was drinking and the problem was just not being mindful of my life and being there for my family and so when my family was there all the time and I was there for them as a stay-at-home mom. I still wasn't really present with them. I wasn't there helping my kids with their homework and I wasn't, I was taking them to all their sports and everything but at the same time I just couldn't wait to get my you know, next glass of wine and it was just it was always in the back of my mind. Of you know, oh I'm gonna have a glass of wine while I'm making dinner or oh I've had the worst day in the world I have to have a glass of wine or whatever it is you know it was just creeped in a lot so uh. What happened for me the reason why I decided to quit in 2019 was my first Yoga Teacher Training and I, it was Halloween it was Halloween weekend and it was I was already thinking you know and I was doing so many 30-day challenges, 60-day challenges and I felt good in that time but before I just couldn't wait until the 30 days were up you know, so I could have my drink. Okay, you know, I'm totally fine because it's been 30 days and I didn't have a drink you know but it was always there in my mind like I couldn't wait to have it so the addiction was still in me and when I on Halloween of last year, I still was thinking like how am I going to do this? How am I going to quit for good? And I was trick-or-treating with my daughters and I had my glass of wine in my hands and I had my dogs both of my dogs, I have a French Bulldog and a Labrador and they're both very strong and they're just pulling me all over the place and I had my phone in my hands and my daughters are going all over the place trick-or-treating and coming back and it was just a lot of chaos and I only had two drinks that night but I was drunk and I dropped my phone, you know how you drop it on the ground and the screen cracks and and um I didn't even know that it cracked and my husband was so mad at me you know, he was like, what's going on you know you're all over the place and you're not uh you know paying attention to things and I told him I only had two drinks and he's like it doesn't really matter because it affects you so much and that's when I said okay I quit it was just like it clicked and I said okay I'll give myself a year and you know see how I feel so.


Alex: Wow, what a story and I think you know, I love hearing all different stories and I love your story in particular because I just feel like there's probably so many people listening to it that can relate to this you know they're thinking like, I don't know if I have a drinking problem like I just you know drink a little too much but it's just causing it's just causing harm in my life or it's impeding my way that I can be present for my kids and I just think there's probably so many people out there and mothers who can relate to this story and say you know I'm not like um I'm not necessarily out of control per se but it's just not working for me and and is that okay for me to quit and so I just love hearing different stories of ending up in the same destination.


Shanna: Yeah, and one of the biggest things for me was realizing you know in my first Teacher Training in 2019 to now or you know right when I quit noticing the effects of alcohol in our bodies with each drink and being mindful, okay so how does this one drink affect me and if we can remember to be mindful of that and seeing how that feels and realizing oh that doesn't make me feel good you know okay or you know like after that buzz goes away you know like how does it make you feel and so that helped me in my um transformation to quit.


Alex: Yeah, that's amazing and that's like an extension of your mindfulness practice on your yoga mat, right? like when we're going through our yoga practice our teachers are saying to us like you know if this doesn't feel good like just get really in tune with your body and if this post isn't feeling good for you don't do it and that's kind of like the same thing like if this drink is not making you feel good then then just don't do it and it's like an extension of just applying that mindfulness of things beyond our our yoga practice.


Shanna: Definitely yeah, so and it takes practice. It's not easy you know but um that is the path that you can try to see if it works for you. If you're interested in quitting and you're trying to figure out ways you know to even cut back you know just being mindful of every single drink you take.


Alex: Yeah yeah and that's a really good point um because it probably seemed really simple what I just said if it doesn't feel good don't you we all know that that took us like years to kind of get to that point it's not too easy.


Shanna: Yeah, right yeah it's really hard and then uh managing the triggers also because for me the hardest part is managing uh the triggers in the very beginning and the easiest way for me to manage my triggers in the very beginning was to let's say every single time I wanted to reach for a drink you know and I thought oh okay I gave myself this year just moving through like be the Seer, be the observer in the experience of those feelings that you're experiencing and observe those feelings. Don't act on them and just see how you feel and if you have to write it down write down what you feel and you know see how that affects you through each trigger because every trigger might be a little bit different and don't act on it and then see how you feel when you don't act on that trigger and then the triggers fade away because the you're controlling the thoughts in your mind and when you're when you're controlling the those monkey mind thoughts then you're really like gonna be in control of your life at that point and then you'll be able to manage those triggers like Oh no I got this I can do this and that's how I got through my whole entire year.


Alex: That's amazing so inspiring so tell me about in this year like you said you've just had amazing transformation so what has um what has come about since you quit drinking?


Shanna: So I um, as soon as, okay so I quit drinking uh November 1st and then I started my uh first my podcast High Vibe Health on February 2nd so 2 to 2022, I'm really big with numbers I love numbers and so that was my first podcast episode and I have 20 episodes now, maybe 21 or something like that and that has been so much fun. I created a business on health and wellness and healing so that's basically teaching yoga uh I began to love creating meditations so I love writing out meditations and then verbalizing them so I've learned that um I actually can create meditations. I had no idea that I could but I've always wanted to in the back of my mind, I just didn't know how to act on it and uh so I teach yoga on a regular basis. I teach yoga through philanthropy uh charity events I love teaching yoga too um you know any type of charity that will have me and uh yeah so I've been doing uh you know free yoga classes at this beautiful State Park called Spring Mountain Ranch in uh Las Vegas and that's one of my favorite things to do and let's see what else I um I've been doing a lot of trainings and it's time to pause on the trainings like I'm going through your Deep Dive training right now and I'm loving it. I'm loving the community, one of the biggest transformations that I've experienced is uh learning a sense of community and finding the people that resonate with me the most because you know, we all need that in our lives and when we quit drinking it's almost kind of like um we feel so isolated and if we, if we feel isolated then we're likely to go back to our old habits. So, finding community in uh a place like the Mindful Life Practice is been it's been one of the best things for me and I'm so happy that I found it. I found Alex through uh I was searching uh Sober Curious Teacher Trainings and your teacher training was the only one out there and I had this vision of doing Sober Curious Circles and 30 Day Challenges and 60 Day Challenges and all of that and your uh Teacher Training was the only one that I could find and it resonated with me more than anything because you know you're just this like amazing person and so inspiring and all the people that you bring towards you are just the same so inspiring and you know everybody has a wealth of knowledge on um yoga and mindfulness and community and it's just amazing.


Alex: I'm so glad that you found us and you've been such an integral member of our community. So Shanna did our the 30 Hours Sober Curious Yoga Teacher Training this spring and then she um did some circles for our community and there she's in the Deep Dive and she was our guest speaker last week in our Sober Curious Speaker Series and I just think back to all of these like connections and think about like if we if we hadn't gone gone alcohol free or gone sober we like never would know each other which is pretty mind-blowing when you think about it.


Shanna: Yeah, it's really cool going into the you know chats and seeing people again and again and all the same familiar faces and it's almost like you know them in real life and I've never met you ever but I feel like I know you because we see each other through Zoom you know on a regular basis and same with all the other people but you're doing somebody's yoga class online you don't even have to leave your house you can do their yoga class online and it feels like you're participating in a class with other people.


Alex: Yeah, it's just amazing and to think you know three years ago we would have never even imagined that this would be a thing and it would be possible.


Shanna: Yeah, it's unbelievable you know there's always blessings that come with um you know scary things like Covid happening worldwide and this came out of that and it's you know I just want to help you spread the word you know it's your community is so big and beautiful.


Alex: Thank you so much Shanna. So am I wondering um what are some of the biggest things that you learned along your sober Journey?


Shanna: So, I learned oh there's so much um, meditate one of the biggest things that's helped me get through all of my experiences is meditation and I, I mean I keep getting reminded this on a regular basis because of my busy schedule and my busy life and sometimes I will fall behind and not meditate and I mean I had a meeting with a psychic just last week and she told me, I totally forgot about the meeting that I created you know like I booked her and she texted me and she's like are you around? She told me that my energy was like up here you know like spiraling and if you think about the yoga sutras um the first one 1.2 and it talks about the monkey mind like the chaos in the mind and how you're not gonna be able to progress in life if you are regressing in your mind thoughts, if that makes sense. So, my energy was up here because I didn't meditate and I'm just all over the place and it made me realize that stillness is one of the most important things if you want to you know progress to be a better version of yourself and um any kind of stillness really it's just quieting the thoughts in the mind and uh you know that's where the creativity happens too and that's where the magic happens and just and that's how you learn and that's how you learn how to navigate life and stressful situations and it's not through picking up the next drink and putting a Band-Aid on it it's by you know Finding Stillness and getting to know yourself better so I've learned a lot about myself through finding Stillness.


Alex: So true, and it's so interesting that you point that out because I was actually just having a conversation right before we started this live. So, I just taught a yoga class and I was saying to the group that I, I haven't been feeling well today and it's really interesting when you go back you trace back all your steps and you're like, okay what was I eating? Did I drink enough water? What did I do? And I realized how I started my day today was so I go out for a walk every morning but this morning when I went out for my walk um there's one of the things that I don't like about Bali is that people don't leave their dogs on leashes. So there's like a lot of dogs just like wandering about and these two dogs just really scared me like jumping on me and wouldn't get off of me and I ended up kind of getting cornered back into my house and then I was standing in the house being like what do I do because I still want to go where I walk and and anyway I was recounting this story being like it's amazing when you trace back to like how I started my day and that was kind of situation beyond my control but it was like I was immediately in the sympathetic nervous system of like oh my God, I'm panicked and scared what do I do and then it has this puzzle effect through your whole day, where I just didn't feel well and I was doing all the things like, I was drinking water, I was eating. What I was supposed to and then to be able to pinpoint just the value of like that nice piece people start to the morning which sometimes it's beyond our control but if we can get ourselves into that seat of Stillness it has this ripple effect through the rest of the day.


Shanna: Yes, oh I did, that's a crazy story and it's so true you know just that fight or flight mode can affect you for the whole day and if you don't give yourself even five minutes to just um calm down and you know um block yourself from all those crazy thoughts and try to find um peace you know it's it'll help a lot.


Alex: Absolutely yeah so I need to, I, I'm like I need to meditate before I leave for my walk I think.


Shanna: That's a good idea is a meditation but you know it even if you're walking and you're like mindfully walking and you're like doing the sights and sounds and and all of that if a two dogs are coming your way you know there's nothing you can do about it you know and especially if it terrifies you.


Alex: So, true but I have to say, I did um I ordered a bike for rental, I've been thinking about getting a bicycle for so long and then this was the final point where I was like you know what I need my morning time outside but if I'm on a bicycle then the dogs can't like scare me so much because I'll just bike right by them so I'm literally getting a bicycle delivered tomorrow so that's my plan I'll meditate and then I'll do a morning ride instead of a morning walk so we'll see how that goes.


Shanna: Can't wait to hear about that experience. I saw the dogs and they were far away and I was just riding along.


Alex: So, I'm wondering we were chatting a little bit and we had you as a guest speaker um in our speaker meeting on the weekend and I think that was two weeks ago and people were asking you about the different social things that you've done since you've been sober so I'm just wondering how has it been navigating the social dynamics?


Shanna: The social dynamics have gotten easier over the year. I went on, I don't know I, I at this point I don't even know how many vacations I went on but 11 or 12 vacations in the last year and I got to go to Europe, I went to five countries in Europe, Canada, I've been all over the U.S I went on a girls’ trip. I was just telling you all about the girls’ trip in Nashville and that was really interesting because when you go on a it's basically a mom's trip um to Nashville and you're away from the kids and away from the husband and you're in this party scene everybody is drinking right and all your friends are drinking it's just you know like the first thing you think of is like how am I going to navigate that situation and for me it was getting past the first drink before everybody you know got their buzz and got drunk and so that celebratory time when everybody was getting their favorite drink in that first round, I would create a celebratory experience around my first drink. I would uh you know maybe ask the waiter what is your signature cocktail or you know I now I never loved beer before but now, I love the non-alcoholic beers and most restaurants will have non-alcoholic beer. I've learned to absolutely love the craft in the beer and love the flavor of it and it tastes identical as a regular beer maybe without the kick. I mean, I can't even tell the difference. I think somebody stole my beer last night at um my friend's house when we were about ready to go trick-or-treating my Heineken zero wasn't even in the fridge anymore and I was the only one that wasn't drinking but um getting through that first drink is imperative because then what happens after that first drink is everybody starts getting buzzed and drunk and then they're not even watching you. They're not paying attention to you. You just have fun with your drink and remember first thing in the morning how amazing you're gonna feel when you're not hungover and so that helps me you know, get through those times and I danced probably more than all my friends. I was out there on the Dance Floor the whole time, I was singing with all the country singers. I went and got up on stage and did karaoke you know totally alcohol-free and it felt way better because. I felt so present and I rode the bowl and I, I'm pretty good on the bullet I have to say but um I did all that completely sober and I felt amazing. The next day, I would get up early in the morning while everybody else is still sleeping and do my own yoga practice because I teach yoga I can remember all the flow but if you don't teach yoga you know if you want to do that and you're trying to think of what you can do, you can go for a walk first thing in the morning or you can go and have coffee downstairs in the lobby if you're on vacation or uh you know you can pick up the Mindful Life Practice app and take a yoga class on there and they have so many you know on-demand classes and there's so many things you can do you know when everybody else is sleeping and you can just have that clarity.


Alex: So true and the mornings become a really special time when like, I'll never forget actually this is one of my favorite moments when I um was 150 days sober, it was my sister's wedding and it was a three-day weekend event where they were like multiple nights there were like 10 of us all staying in a cabin at summer camp and I just remember waking up in the morning and everyone was like so hungover like they just couldn't get out of it and I was like I danced and I was like, I want breakfast and like I just had so much energy and that was like such a good motivator for me of like look at all of the amazing things I can do in the morning now that I'm not hungover I can really enjoy this moment and so I love that you you've highlighted that.


Shanna: Yeah and also uh playing tennis so if you create a hobby or you know something that you love to do exercise is the best so any type of exercise that is good for me I took on tennis. Well, I played tennis before but let me tell you when I was drinking and if I had a lesson or whatever I may skip the lesson or I would be 50 during the lesson and I would be dehydrated in a you know couldn't wait for the lesson to be over and it wasn't fun for me. So, now it's so much fun for me. I have so much energy you know, my tennis lessons are at nine o'clock in the morning. I drop my kids off to school you know make their lunch. I get up really early in the morning which I love because I love going to bed early and you know I do my match and I just feel amazing the whole day because of it so any exercise yeah.


Alex: So true and finding the right one for you like there's gonna be certain things that might work at different times in your life or certain things that resonate and finding one that you really enjoy so it's not a um like so it's something that you look forward to.


Shanna: Yeah because if you do it like um okay so I had a membership at Lifetime Gym here in Las Vegas and it became a chore for me. I had the membership forever but I never went early, went maybe once a month, maybe and it was not a cheap membership and I didn't love the process of driving there, walking all the way in because the walk was actually all the way around the building. It was like a quarter mile just to get inside the gym and then I had to walk to the third floor and and to find out that the class was completely full and just the whole experience of wondering if I'm even gonna be able to get a spot because I'm usually running late you know. Was, it wasn't fun so by that time I was just over it and I found myself sitting in my car on multiple occasions just thinking do I even want to go in and I would literally drive away because I you know didn't want to go in it wasn't it didn't light me up and it didn't you know excite me so I cut that membership out and you know tennis is my thing.


Alex: That’s awesome. You know I never really practiced tennis I did very briefly at summer camp one year, I got really into it and I got like a couple of awards and then I just never carried it on throughout my um my life but I've been in a phase now it's year three of my sobriety and I've been trying to explore new things so I did like surfing lessons I did Bahasa Indonesian language lessons I did boxing for a little while and um maybe tennis will be my next thing maybe doing tennis lessons that sounds fun.


Shanna: I think you would be really good at it.


Alex: And it's good to do something different than yoga I think.


Shanna: Um yoga just adding the yoga practice to whatever exercise you love to do is um so good because it you know uh improves strength and flexibility and it decreases um your chance of injury and there's so many other benefits that you know I'm not going to go over that but yeah there's if even if you just do one or two Yoga practices a week on top of the exercise that you're doing you know it's pretty magical.


Alex: So true. So, I have one more question for you um and this has been amazing by the way for hearing your story and being able to celebrate with you on your one year sober. It's just been awesome and I'm wondering if you could share with the group so if there was one piece of advice or wisdom you would give to like a younger version of yourself who was still not yet at that place of choosing sobriety what would that wisdom be?


Shanna: Yeah, it would definitely be the fact that I already knew it in my head. I was telling it to myself in my head that I didn't want to be the mom to raise my children the way I was raised and so it and it took you know 12 years for me to figure that out with my daughter but um finally here. I am so now, I get to raise a teenager you know um all through her teenage years without being the um drinking mom and I get to be the uh you know, I get, I get to show her that you can have fun and live a fulfilling life without drinking and you can still have the best time ever and still live a life full of joy. So, I would definitely tell my the younger version of me you know, thinking about drinking when all my friends are drinking that one day you won't want to because you want to set a good example for your children. you know. You don't want to be like, you don't you want you don't want to grow up like you grew up .I'm trying to talk to my younger version right now and so it's kind of hard doing that but yeah so that's what I would do and I don't know if I would have listened to myself because each of our stories are so unique and you know I, I don't know if I would be who I am today and I wouldn't love life so much if I didn't go through what I went through as a drinker and so I got to see it from that perspective but I also got to see it from a non-drinkers perspective as well if that makes sense.


Alex: Absolutely, and that just gave me shivers honestly because I just think it's so beautiful and amazing to think you know our kids, our children are really impacted by what they see around them and the culture that they see around alcohol in their house and so the fact that you can be that role model for for your daughter I just think that's going to be so inspiring for her.


Shanna: Yeah and then so I have two daughters now too so they both see it and they uh their school you know sometimes they talk about it you know uh in school like a parent is struggling or something like that and they they think oh wow my mom's not struggling you know and they just feel so good about that and my husband doesn't drink. He hasn't drank for 10 years, so he's been a really big motivator for me as well and you know he had his struggles before he decided to quit drinking and he realized hey you know this isn't working in my life anymore and you know it took me 10 years because I ten years after him because I thought hey you know I'm just a mom and trying to live my life like everybody else and you know it just didn't work in my life anymore.


Alex: Yeah wow, well this has been so amazing so inspiring and I really appreciate you getting up at 6:00 a.m to be here today to do this live with me and I'm sure that so many people listening and tuning in are probably going to have so many takeaways from it so thank you so much Shanna.


Shanna: Thank you so much for having me and yeah if anybody has any questions at all I'm happy to answer and um I'm happy to help support whoever you know on your journey if you are interested in quitting as well thank you Alex.


Alex: It's amazing, thank you.


Alex: Hi friend, thank you so much for listening to this episode of Sober Yoga Girl podcast. This community wouldn't exist without you here. So thank you. It would be massively helpful if you could subscribe, leave a review and share this podcast so it can reach more people. If we haven't met yet in real life please come get your one week free trial of the Sober Girls Yoga membership and see what we're all about. Sending you love and light wherever you are in the world.


[Music]




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