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Sober Little Mother Red: Meet Leanne Baylis

Updated: Jan 25, 2022

Leanne is a UK based writer and sobriety advocate, who can be found on Instagram @soberlittlemotherred. She is a single mother, mental health warrior, and vegan. Leanne is passionate about speaking out on issues around sobriety and mental health, and can be found organizing events both locally in the UAE and on Zoom for those to connect around the themes of sobriety and mental health.

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Tune into this episode to hear Leanne's story and catch her online at Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at

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Intro: Welcome to the "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast with Alex McRobs, international yoga teacher and sober coach. I broke up with booze for good in 2019. And now I'm here to help others do the same. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how. all right hello everyone welcome back to another episode of sober yoga girl i am really excited to have leanne with me here today and we have been connected on social media for like ever and it's the first time we're finally meeting on zoom which is really cool and leanne is based in the uk and she is a writer she is a mother and she is a passionate advocate about sobriety so i think she's a great guest to have on and i'm really excited to hear your story oh hi alex thank you for having me as you say it's really exciting to finally meet because i feel like we have been friends for quite a long time now so thank you so much for having me on so i can share my my knowledge on my my journey yeah thanks for being on so i was wondering if you could start us off with telling a bit more about yourself so i know you're a mother and you're a writer tell me more about that okay so i became a mother my daughter is now five i was in a complete different occupation uh before i had my daughter i actually was running a bar with my friend we had a bath together very change of history now but my daughter was born with uh serious complex health conditions and and like complex needs so i really had to change literally everything what i did i'm a single mom so i had to juggle you know weeks and months in hospital with working as well and i'd always written um i'd always you know been really passionate about it but i thought right i'm gonna actually give this a good go because it's realistically the only thing that fits around my child and um you know i just i've got really lucky with it to be to be honest you know i've got a couple of books coming out next year and you know it is hard work and determination but i kind of feel it's a lot of luck as well i've just kind of all drifted into the direction that i was meant to be and i'm doing lots of work now within the sober community i have a website myself i'm doing lots of events and lots of sort of talks and programs on sobriety i am not an expert and i will always say this but i think and i've it has gone to shame that you know sharing your journey can help other people as well so that's that's really about me i just sit at home writing books really and mothering which is just a joy you know i never thought i'd be a mother wasn't something that you know i wanted in my life really if i'm honest i i just was so you know selfish really you know i didn't see having a kid i just was a you know a 30 something woman enjoying herself on the party scene but um it's the best thing that's ever happened to me so there we go so tell me about your drinking then like when did you start drinking so this is also so it kind of goes hand in hand when i had i've always i'm not gonna lie you know from 11 13 whenever i could access alcohol you know drinking was a big part of my life you know and then i got into my teenagers and you know drinking was then boring so then drugs came in and i've always been known and my friends would say this about me i was a party girl i was you know i would create the party i would start another party it was just all about parties so drinking from me has been prevalent throughout my whole life unfortunately but it all sort of sobriety came to a head after my daughter was born it was i almost lost her it was a really trying time i was seeing things in hospital that just you know my mental health was shot i um had a mental health breakdown i was diagnosed with ptsd anxiety depression you know i wasn't able to eat i couldn't you know i'd get out of bed to dress my daughter but i i wasn't functioning as a human being i didn't get sectioned i was very close to it there were discussions about it whether i was going to actually section myself and i just got lots of help and lots of counselling but at this time i was still drinking and it wasn't in the day and this is where people you know i class myself as a functioning alcoholic because i'd get up i'd be super more in the day you know my house is all clean i do the food shop my daughter's very well looked after put her to bed and i'd be doing two or three bottles of wine a night to cope with the you know the trauma of what we were having to go through and what we face in the future which is you know quite terrifying by anyone's means but um i was kind of sort of lying about it to people i wouldn't you know if people came around to the house and drink in front of them i do and then left you know it became this really sneaky secretive thing and even when i first got sober i would always say to people uh yeah i just drink a little bit too much i'm not an alcoholic i don't have a drink problem you know it's always really defensive but you know 509 days later i do identify as a functioning alcoholic and you know it's not something that i'm proud of but i am proud of my sobriety and recognizing the fact that i needed help so really drinking has always been i've got a very addictive personality whether it be a drink drugs people relationships um exercise food i've always had this thing within me that has got this you know addict addict addict so i shift but now i'm you know not like yoga for me i'm very addicted to that i'm addicted to running i'm addicted to sobriety so i'm still an addict my my addictions have just shifted so there wasn't really a pinpoint when the drinking started because it's always been there but you know i think it came to a head when i realized you know there was a day while i was in recovery from my mental health you know i sat down i wrote my goodbye letter to my daughter you know of saying that i and she was better off without me being on this earth and not being part of her because i was such a failure and that night i was found by friend and i wouldn't be sitting here today if that friend hadn't found me so that that was it then that was you know it it wasn't i wouldn't want to say it was a cry for help because i did want to end my life that day i did want everything to end but that's when it was when i spoke to councillors it was like you know everyone everything was alcohol alcohol alcohol yeah drugs didn't really weren't a part of my life anymore since i've had my daughter and i'm very glad about that but alcohol you know got to the most extreme and you know what it was doing to my mental health i mean everyone understands it like you drink you get a hangover or sometimes you can get a bit sad because you drunk too much and cry but detrimentally what it was doing to my and what it's done over the past 20 years of my life it's not heal trauma it's caused more trauma and i think it's um i think that's why i'm so interested in getting it put into education you know talks about alcoholism and drugs because it's not just the day after you've drowned you know it can be months after it can lead you to a life of you know hiding away the shame the guilt you know you can't connect with anyone people ask me if i've lost friends going sober you know i have lost some of my old friends that i used to party with but i've made so many more connections and more friends and you know people that i wouldn't even dream of sending an email to to start connecting with people it's kind of a bit mad so that was the pinpoint of when i started getting help and you know i started sobriety i had a couple of attempts and and failed because i wasn't ready i wasn't ready to admit to myself you know all i'd known for 24 years of drinking from the age of 11 was being drunk so what the hell am i gonna do when that's taken out of my life um so it took about six months and then on the 25th of july 2020 was the the night before that was my last drink and i've not touched one since and i would really like to say i will never touch one again but i can't but i can say that i want to never drink again you know i think you can't you just never know what's going to happen in the future but that's that's where we are and um i have to say it's the best decision i have ever made i i look back at myself five years ago who would look at me now thinking oh what are you doing why would you want to live that life you know but um me now thinks you know if if i could tell my 18 year old self what i knew now my life may not be very different i may be doing the same job writing creative and things like that but i wouldn't have caused myself so much pain and distress during you know the meantime and also people forget it's not just about the person that's recovering from alcoholism or addiction it's the knock-on effect it's you know what my friends have had to say what my family have had to say the worry that i've caused that you you have to process when you so bring up as well and you have to forgive yourself for that you know because when you are in addiction you just become this selfish human being there is nothing else but your addiction and your want you know for people like me i'd give everyone everything in the day you know my daughter would get fed well dressed as well nice clothes you know going out and things like that but at night time you're going to bed at seven o'clock because that's when i am having my wife that that's me you know and i was living for the days to pass as quickly as possible to hit seven o'clock yeah but then seven o'clock became six o'clock six o'clock became five o'clock and then once my friend came round and was like you do know it's 10 o'clock in the morning you know it just spirals it just absolutely spirals and i've had a life was spiraling and um thank goodness i've managed to stop that that spiraling anymore you know i do have i'm not going to lie you know there are days when i i want to drink you know i i'm in a world that is surrounded with alcohol and it's so accepted culturally and it's with ingrained in us i know what it does for me i'm not a girl of moderation i am not a girl you know if i have another drink the likelihood is i will die because i know that i'll go on a binge my body will go into shock so it's weighing up you know where we stand but i just yeah it's just something that i'm just so passionate about now and you know as you know yourself the power that you can gain from sobriety you know i've never felt so confident i used to drink to give me confidence because i was quite a shell of a human being but my god i've got real confidence now it's not oh i've got a neck of half a bottle of vodka to approach someone to talk you know and obviously it's now logical confidence because it's with inside me it's a power it's a force that i have it's something that i can use not that i have to do something to gain it before it's just now within me do you am i'm making sense i know what i'm trying to say but um yeah it's just such a such a powerful powerful thing that i just sometimes i can't comprehend what sobriety brings to you as a as a person and and what you can get and the time you know the time that i wasted i don't i don't remember my 18th birthday my 21st my 30th or anything like that and now i'm remembering you know colors that i'm walking past the smell of the trees that i'm going past you know people that i see it's it's just mad it's like i was i said to somebody last night it's like um people that have got cataracts and it's like you have your cataract's operation and you can see properly again it's like put sobriety into your life then you're just it's like your vision is just clear and it and everything makes sense it's it's not easy and you have your days where you want to give it all up but you just play the tape forward and and playing that forward you know you know those days and it's always the day after you've struggled the most you then have the most powerful day of sobriety you're like yes that's why i got through yesterday because today i am a hero you know and um and it's just so powerful it just blows my mind and you know i was classic so shame i would say people that would come out with me oh why aren't you drinking oh why have you bothered to come out why aren't you doing that it's boring i used to feed people as well you know if people had no money to go out drinking i used to pay for all their drinks so they could go out drinking with me i've bought people grams of cocaine before so they stayed up partying with me so i felt better about myself yeah you know and it's only looking back when you think what a horrible human being i was you know but without thought or you know actively wanting to be malicious but you're just constantly feeding your addiction you're just constantly feeding it in different ways and manipulating situations to make your surroundings acceptable you know it's uh it's a crazy world it is a crazy world totally yeah wow thank you so much for sharing all of that and being so vulnerable and open and it really is so inspiring to hear like how much you went through and the way that you've been able to to turn to change your life to transform your life and and now to share about it and inspire others like it's just it's um it's incredible i in in sobriety you do you know i never thought if i took one thing out of my life my whole life would get better which essentially it is there are things i have to do to maintain my sobriety you know i can't just say okay i'm sober i'm safe i'm comfortable right you i get up every day and sobriety is a choice you know and i have to get up and i have to do sometimes i have to i have a glance at sobriety sometimes i have to have a full-on fistfight you know but it's it's there and i have to take it and it's a choice that i've made and one that i continue and i just you know to anyone out there wanting to try it it's so rewarding if i could give you five gold stars to say this is what you get at the end of it but it's not like that it's it does change your life it changes your mindset it changes people around you you know i've gone from this girl that was just scrabbling around to get up to have her next drink or wait until the coke runs started to deliver coke to waking up every day to doing small steps to changing things in the world to helping people you know i have this not only a purpose for what i went through but a purpose of the one that i want for other people is probably now more than i want for myself it's it's projected power you know and i think just it's something that i can't explain to people about sobriety it is a superpower you know if you you get this cape and you put it on and you get to be this person every day you know i didn't know myself for however many years and it's so wonderful now that i'm getting to know who i am i'm getting to know you know i've talked to myself for years because i was a terrible person did all these terrible things and i was just drunk all the time but actually there's so much good with inside me and there's so many things that i like about myself and i'm you know i'm i am 38 now and it's it's mad just finding out about yourself but it's so interesting but i'm 38 i could have been 78 and starting my sober journey you know i just it's never too late it's never too late i just wish but didn't it a lot earlier yeah yeah and that's the interesting thing about sobriety hey i've had so many people say to me so i quit drinking when i was and almost everyone that hears that their response is i wish i quit drinking when i was your age it's so amazing that you quit so young and i think that really says something about exactly what you said about sobriety being a superpower and you worry so much about what you're losing but there's no one ever i've never met anyone that regrets giving up drinking alcohol ever there's so many people that uh you know i think when she passed the first little bit which is the hardest because you're like now if i wanted to drink you know all that hard work i put in but it's when you've done two or three days or you've done a week you think oh it's only a week it's you know it doesn't matter but um you know just doing it and doing it as soon as you think i mean what i say to people as well you don't have to have a rock bottom you don't have to become an alcoholic to change your relationship with drinking you know it's more to the point of why you're drinking is it an escape is it to build confidence is it because you see nothing else in your life you know it's it's highlighting for other people you know i know that not everyone in the world wants to go sober and honestly if i could have one glass of wine once a week on a wednesday and and be okay with that i'd probably do that but as i said before i can't but i think it's more about people recognizing what their drinking patterns are you know are they a gray area drinker are they drinking socially but socially for confidence are they heavy drinking are they drinking for trauma um and i think a lot of people ignore that or sober shame or you know don't have conversations because they're hiding their own you know drinking issues as well but i'll say it to anyone any single person whether you don't think you you have a drink problem or not have a look while you're drinking it it's very interesting to strip it back and you know if any of my friends are listening to this i've looked at their lives and i've sort of stripped them back and thought well why are they drinking you know what is it that makes them want to drink because i've gone 360 on this i don't really understand now why people drink whereas i never understood why people didn't drink i don't know done you know because i've looked into the chemical makeup of it you know i've looked into the fact that we are we are drinking poison and you know what it does to you and the chemicals within it and the chemical imbalance that it can put into your body as well it's just absolutely mind-blowing sorry i've gone off in a bit of a tangent there alex i will uh we'll stop no but it's so true and i completely agree with you on that i've had that exact same pivot where i am just like why would anyone want to do this right because as you said like so bright sober is a superpower and it's so transformative and it's only good things that come from it right so why would we why would we put this chemical into our body if we can you know wake up hangover free and happy and not be anxious about what we did the night before right for me it just doesn't seem like uh a question the other day i was really sick i had like i was being sick and all sorts i'd caught a bug and i was just thinking to myself i used to do this at least four or five times a week but i did it to myself you know it just you know having to know that i've got to put a cold press on my head or i've got to put a bucket next to my bed because i'm going to vomit or getting water before you go to bed calling in sick to work why would you do that to yourself for just but it does it it does take time for you to get your head around sobriety but then i think most people are like us we question everything after why then people do do it you know as soon as someone says to me well why don't you drink one of my questions is always why do you drink you know it's a conversation starter or stopper take it what you will but it does uh does have the effect affected desire for sure and you know in your story what really resonated with me is i had a really similar experience in that i was going through a mental health crisis and i received treatment for it but i was continuing to drink alcohol at the time and it was only two years after that i got sober and i look back on that whole journey and i'm like you know the treatment the medication that i was given probably wasn't working properly because i was constantly consuming alcohol right which is affecting the meds and i just think it's so interesting how you know mental health is becoming one of the biggest issues in our world right now and i feel like the link is not being made between consuming alcohol and how much yeah and how much it affects your mood especially with cove at times as well you know people i think i read somewhere the other day there was a 60 rising drinking in the uk alone wow and what people have to understand is you know we are working from home living from home a lot of us you know i do have a child but you know i'm single i don't have a partner you know can you just imagine just drinking day in and day out having no communication with the outside world in a terrible frightfully worrying time anyway you know mental health that you know our departments here with the nhs are just so struggling at the minute but you've got a report on the mental health nhs side are struggling and reports about alcohol and as you say the two are not being linked but they go in together they have actually put something in in the uk you know to lower some prices of alcohol and it's like what what are you doing you know more people have died with drug and alcohol related illnesses and people have died in covid in the last two years but we're not talking about that we're not having breaking news every night saying you know stop drinking stop taking drugs because it's killing us you know we're just i suppose it's like a hypodermic needle as well we're fed you know and alcohol is all about money you know so much money is to be made in alcohol are they really going to stop it are people really going to take it seriously do people really care they're lining their pockets and it's criminal it's absolutely criminal to the point where but this is why there's people like us alex because we will shout and shout and shout and highlight all these issues but we have a massive problem over here at the minute a massive problem with people are drinking more and as you know brits are quite heavy drinkers yeah it's a part of our culture the pub you know it's it's a very english thing to do but also the mental health crisis that we have you know there are reports daily on people not getting treatment and then they've been found ended their lives you know but there's no connection to obviously alcohol or the pressure from alcohol abuse in england and on the nhs as well is just you know terrifying and these people need help but they also need mental health help it's like we're treating alcoholism but we're not treating the root of it it's like i don't know stitching a cut back up but only half stitching it why would you do that the other side is still going to bleed out there's always a reason behind people's drinking you know so we need to address mental health we need to address drinking but we also need to address them together and over here alcohol uk change uk they are really really highlighting the fact that mental health and alcohol really go together but you know i know for instance the sober community since i even started getting stable it's got so much bigger and i feel so much powerful it has we have still got unfortunately in it and it's really sad we've still got so far to go you know and i don't even think in my lifetime will will we have changed things considerably in my lifetime i really hope we do but we just have to see won't we just yeah yeah i mean i definitely didn't think that we would have as much momentum as we did and like in the net in the few years since i've been sober until the pandemic happened and i feel like we're gaining so much traction and momentum around it so i hope as well like it's my dream that when i have children that they are not raised around the same culture of booze that i was i'm yeah so we we have a church like so my daughter because of her health complications she can't ever drink you know and i want her to grow up in a world of you know that that's completely acceptable yeah it's like people don't have an issue if you don't smoke i find that so odd you know you don't think that's fine you don't drink like why you know i just it is about the the generation and i think what's really nice is a lot of i think i was reading a report the other day between 18 and 24 year olds in this country have really started to look after themselves really delved into mindset and health and you know and hearing i was speaking to a 19 year old the other day she was like i've had a few drinks but it's just not my thing i never want to drink again i was like wow this is amazing like you will love your life for not doing this but it was just so refreshing to hear so on the days where i'm like is anyone listening you know things are still happening so i think we just got to keep going but you know we've got to go to governments we've got to go to mps we've got to go to leaders of the world you know we've got to get something put in place it's just it's relentless isn't it alex it's just relentless i 100 agree with you yeah and i think even just us sharing our stories and getting out there and doing podcasts like this and you know you sharing everything that you do on instagram it's an amazing step forward because i think for so long it was like you know it was anonymous like people were not out there with their stories and the stories need to be told for movement to happen just before i came on this podcast i actually put a post out saying to people if we go silent how many people won't start their journeys yeah how many people won't speak up you know i get i had over 500 emails last week of people saying you know thank you for being inspiring or thank you for talking because i've actually made this step like one person went to a one person did this one person did yeah would they have done that if they hadn't have heard you know things that we're saying i i doubt it because people when you know you're in this drinking binge stage where you've got no confidence and you know no one else is like you you think you're the only person in the world but if you put on your phone start scrolling and see like there's thousands of people around the world like you yeah they've probably done you know worse things than you as well you're gonna say okay this is okay i can do this if you can then stop meeting people you know you you do lose your friends that you you go out raving with or whatever but you get a whole set of news friends that you can do lovely other things with like yoga retreats or still go raving just not drinking yeah you know it's um it's really important i think it's so important what we're doing and if we're silent other people will be silent and people are dying in silence and that's what we need to stop we need to keep talking yeah that's so true and so tell me more about what kind of work you're doing in the sober world so um i have i've written a book uh it's out next year it's about sobriety uh it's called from cocaine to rice cakes um amazing and it's you know i will be honest if i could give people a footprint of how i got sober and give it to you and do it i would give i personally put them all off and post it through every single door in the world but i can't but what i've done is i've shared my sobriety story how i got to getting sober you know times in my life where i could have got sober but the realization just wasn't there um and a little bit about how life has changed being sober and a little about the plan for the sober future as well so i've got that coming out i've got a website where i just constantly blog um about sobriety about topics mainly mental health as well doing a lot of podcasts at the minute a lot of the interviews talking about sobriety i've done a couple of sobriety events as well just getting people together amazing i saw that lots of connected um i'm working alongside quite a few alcohol-free brands as well that's very exciting and i have to say coming from the bar industry myself alcohol-free brands are lovely to work with whereas before it wasn't quite uh it wasn't quite like that um so just really banging the drum i've made a lot of connections um there's lots of stuff coming in january i'm gonna do coffee chats where people can log in once a week and we'll just talk you can be seen or you can hide your face on zoom but it's an open forum not just for women for men as well because this is the other thing i want to shout about phil that men do get a hard harder stick of time and they don't speak up as much as girlies as well so this is really a platform for everyone just to come together and you know talk about sobriety even even for super curious people people just wanting to hear people's stories um but yeah there's just honestly for the last 24 hours all i've talked about is sobriety and it's just madness it's just madness but if we keep talking the world will change hopefully but um yeah there's there's big plans i'd like to say you know i want to take events on a on a bigger scale um do workshops and and things like that but yeah that's where i'm going but i my mind gets carried away now because i've got time to think because i'm not so hungover all the time i can actually but anything that i think it's mad because anything that i've said to myself since sobriety right i'm going to do this has happened you know i'm going to write a book it's happened i'm going to write a tv series it's happened you know i'm writing scripts for different apps online it's happened you know it's incredible the power is the power of sobriety you know i want to do this and i will do it

yeah everyone i know has manifested the life of their dreams when they've gotten sober because you just got really clear on like what is my vision and you see any path to get there and that's the thing is like with writing a book i don't know about you but i wrote a memoir last year and i actually started that book a long time ago which i realized while writing it and i realized that i had actually i had just given up you know i got five chapters in and then gave up because i was drinking right and i just didn't have the time to devote to it and then as soon as you're sober it's like you know you have the time and the commitment and you're like i want to get this this done and so i know like i never would have written it had i still been drinking for me like before i got saved i'd have all these ideas i'd start something and then spot and then i'd start something else like i i started three businesses and didn't even do a website or anything like that do you know what i mean i just start things because i'd be like oh because i've always had this focus and passion but i could just never get any further right just but it's all about self-worth as well i think one of the things that you realize in sobriety is the self-love and self-worth that you have and i am worth this life and i can have it if i want it you know i think when you're just so repressed by alcohol or in addiction or you know living through trauma or not addressing mental health you just can't see the bigger picture you can't see past day-to-day things yeah whereas now my fight with alcohol can be day to day but there is a bigger picture there is where me and darcy want to go on holiday next year there is the house that i want to manifest by next year there is the other book that's coming out you know there's so many more things because you're not living day to day you know struggling through that day you're planning the bigger picture you're actually living your life for me surprise is also quite an out of body experience like especially in the start i kept it's like i was grieving myself it was like i was saying goodbye to this sad human being that was so traumatized and it was that sort of disconnection of it you know disconnecting yourself from it and seeing the bigger picture and doing you have to as you know alex you have to do so much work on yourself healing mindset focus um but in the end it leads you to this it's like a third dimension isn't it it's like this parallel world that we're we're now in living and it's yeah it's just wonderful it's just beautiful yeah absolutely so i have one more question for you i'm wondering if you had any advice for someone that wants to quit drinking what advice would you give them okay so i always say this because this is where i stumbled and i wish that i'd found the soviet community before i got sober because i think it's a really good tool but i only know one person that quit drinking and is still not drinking from their first attempt and i think there's a lot of pressure on yourself to when you do it you've got to stick to it all i say to people is if you if you want to go sober and you give it a go and then you find it yourself at the weekend drinking again you have to forgive yourself you can't linger onto it because you'll linger onto it and then you'll get drunk the weekend after you have to use everything that comes with sobriety as a lesson be it good bad or evil it's all a lesson and anything that you feel that you're failing in i hate that word failure because no one's failing it's turning it round and using it into power so if you know that you drank because you're around certain people you have to pull yourself away from those people yeah if you'd rank because you had a bad day at work what's going on at work that you don't like you have to delve into everything and realize why you've gone back to drinking but the point i'm getting to here is if you do relapse be it day two two years four years you have to forgive yourself and use it as power to continually to move forward because if you don't you'll just keep going round in the hamster wheel and you'll never be able to get off um and i think relapse is is such a big part of sobriety and people just give up because they have relapse in it and i just turn your relapse into power and at the minute of christmas you know i'm seeing so many day ones starting again and it's so wonderful that they can feel so honest about it because they know they're not going to judge because no one in the soviet community would do but forgive yourself and push forward and i know this time of year everyone's sort of well we'll just start again on january and it's just like just start again now you know don't wait till january just just do it now also another little thing that i would also say is be honest with yourself one thing that i wasn't at the start as i said i would always go i don't have a drinking problem i'm not gonna call it you know be honest about your drinking and honestly once you are and you realize why you're drinking and you're drinking patterns it's when you're going to start dealing with it because until you're honest with yourself you're always going to hide whatever you're doing be it hiding you know someone i know you used to hide alcohol in the bin so when he put the bins out he could get trashed behind his wife's back you know it's just be honest with yourself forgive yourself for relapses and be honest is my key words of advice to anyone out there yeah and i love that because i actually had a conversation about this in the last couple days with a couple people and i love that whole idea of just whatever decision you make it just needs to be the decision that is give you momentum to keep moving forward you know so we were talking about like saying it's day zero or just keeping going on from where you're at calling it a blip and it's like whatever works for you as long as it's in the direction of moving forward as opposed to like you described just being on that hamster wheel of like shame and guilt right because it's part of the journey right i always say to people there's no harm in standing still for a day so you haven't gone backwards call it your standing still for a day and then take a step forwards tomorrow you know i think you have to have your time to process what you're doing as you say is it a blip or have i gone back to just drinking and completely giving up on myself again it's like touching on the honesty of you know and i read in a book the other day that you we you relapse mentally before you've even picked up a drink you know you're going to do it before you've even poured or kicked up so it is about the honesty in your head and and the mindset again and everything's mindset isn't it but it's it just so is it's just uh so he's back to all that yeah well leanne thank you so much for taking the time to be on the show honestly it was such a pleasure to finally meet you and get to know you and hear your story and all the amazing things you have coming up i cannot wait to read your book when it comes out i think that's an amazing achievement thank you i hope that one day we can do some yoga together alex i really do that's one of my i'm going to manifest that yes come to bali for a sober yoga retreat yeah amazing if i can bring little myths then that that would be fine absolutely thank you so much thank you leanne take care bye now bye

Outro: Thank you so much for tuning into this episode of "Sober Yoga Girl" with Alex McRobs. I am so, so grateful for every one of you. Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss the next one and leave a review before you go. See you soon. Bye.


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