I'm so excited to introduce you to Tasha! Tasha is one of the OG's of Sober Girls Yoga (which is now Sober Curious Yoga!) She joined one of the first challenges in July 2020 and has been sober ever since! Tasha has transformed her life since joining Sober Girls Yoga. She now is a yoga teacher for the Mindful Life Practice and is going back to school to do a Masters in Narrative Medicine. She hopes to build a business soon. Tune into this episode to hear more about Tasha's inspiring journey.
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You can join Tasha for regular yoga classes once a week with the MLPC: www.themindfullifepractice.com/live-schedule. Follow me on Instagram @alexmcrobs and check out my offerings in yoga, meditation and coaching at http://themindfullifepractice.com/.
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Full episode
Transcript
Intro Hi friend, this is Alex McRobs, founder of "The Mindful Life Practice" and you're listening to the "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast. I'm a Canadian who moved across the world at age 23 and I never went back. I got sober in 2019 and I realized that there was no one talking about sobriety in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, so I started doing it. I now live in Bali, Indonesia, and full-time run my community, "The Mindful Life Practice". I host online sober yoga challenges, yoga teacher trainings, and I work one on one with others, helping them break up with booze for good. In this podcast, I sit down with others in the sobriety and mental health space from all walks of life and hear their stories so that I can help you on your journey. You're not alone and a sober life can be fun and fulfilling. Let me show you how.
Alex
Alright. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of "Sober Yoga Girl". I am thrilled to have Tasha today as a guest on the show. And I've known Tasha for a long time now, actually, and she was one of the first participants in the first-ever Sober Girls Yoga challenge I did. So it used to be Sober Girls Yoga back in the day. Now it's Sober Curious Yoga. And Tasha was in that first group in 2020. And since then, she's remained part of the Mindful Life Practice community. She became a yoga teacher. She teaches yoga for us. So she's super involved in our community and everything we do. So I'm really excited to hear Tasha's story today. So welcome, Tasha. How are you?
Tasha
Thank you so much for that intro. I feel so honored. I'm doing great. It's fun to be here.
Alex
Awesome. Nice to have you here. And so Tasha joins us from the States. Maybe you could tell the community a little bit about you and kind of what you do, where you are.
Tasha
Yeah. So right now in St. Paul, Minnesota, which is the capital over here in the States. I am a public school teacher, so I work with English learners and it's really cool. I do a lot of classroom support but I also do a lot of connecting with families. And it's really cool to kind of be integrated into the community in that way. When I got connected with you, Alex, and this community, I had been teaching internationally. And I know that's something that really drew me into this community particularly because there's a lot of ex-pats in this group and we were both international teachers at the time. So, yeah, that work has definitely been a big part of my identity. It's brought me kind of traveling all around the world, and it's something that I really bring into my work here and also just like the personal interest of mine. Yeah. I grew up here, so Minnesota is definitely a place that people come back to, you'll see. Yeah.
Alex
That's so nice. What about it brings people back?
Tasha
I mean, it's wicked cold here, so I'm like ready to get out, but it's very comfortable. There's a stereotype here of like, Minnesota nice and people are, how would you say the nice way of saying like passive-aggressive, very friendly, and polite with each other. If you have to get around someone, no one would ever run into you. I know you're on the East Coast, and it's like every man for themselves. I hear people like, oh, I'm sorry. Let me get that for you. I don't know. It's very easy. Obviously, for some people, there are definitely big divides inequity that has come to light. I mean, it has always been the case, but it's definitely more on people's minds and shown it to light in the past years. Why do people come back? I think a lot of people here don't leave is the other thing. It's like very-- and it's just not really a transient city. It's not like DC, New York or people are coming, going. People maybe leave, but then they just come home.
Alex
Right. Yeah.
Tasha
But then it's like my work personally, I work all with immigrants and mostly children's, children of refugees. And we do have a really large refugee community here. You know, I exclusively live with those communities. And I think that's another like, a lot of these communities have formed around here, and then it really draws more people with, like, even-- we have a huge Somali community. So people that might not be settled here will also come for that community, which is pretty special.
Alex
I have very little experience of the States. I did a few childhood trips to Florida, and the one state that I've been to is Colorado when I was visiting Gabe, who my friend I'm staying with here, definitely all around. But it's so funny because we have so many Americans as part of the Mindful Life Practice community, like so many. And it's the biggest group of listeners to this podcast is Americans. And I feel like I have zero context of the States. So even if I'm asking you about Minnesota, I'm like I can't even picture where on the map this is. So I definitely, post-Covid would really like to do, like a States tour and come visit you guys and actually see kind of what you're talking about.
Tasha
We're neighbors. You could actually drive-in.
Alex
We're neighbors? Ontario and Minnesota are neighbors?
Tasha
I don't know Ontario, but Minnesota and Canada.
Alex
Oh, it's on the border.
Tasha
Yeah.
Alex
What province is it on, does it border with? Do you know?
Tasha
I think we'd be nearest to like, I don't know what's the province of the city, but Saskatchewan and Saskatoon? I don't know. I think that sounds right, though.
Alex
Yeah. So Saskatchewan is the province and Saskatoon is the city. But I only know that because Neve is from there who teaches for us. And I kept messing it up, and then I learned from her. Okay. So that's a little bit to the-- like we have Saskatchewan and then Winnipeg and then Winnipeg, Manitoba in Ontario. It's a few provinces over.
Tasha
Yeah. Saskatoon seems like it's next to nothing.
Alex
Let's get into-- I was wondering if you could give us a bit of context into your drinking story.
Tasha
Yeah. So I guess I'm going to start-- I would start where it ended because I don't think before I stopped drinking, I really was very mindful of it until I kind of did that work of like taking a break from it and then realizing what impact it really had up until that point. So, yeah, as you kind of mentioned in your introduction, you offered this, like a 30-day yoga and sobriety challenge. And I remember at the time when I found it, it wasn't something I was looking for at all. And I don't know if you're familiar. I'm sure we've talked about the whole 30 programs. It's just kind of a nutrition reset. And it's something that I have, like, a practice that I've been doing for years. It's like you cut out alcohol, sugar, every food, and substance that can cause people inflammation. And then the idea is that you reintroduce the things slowly and kind of see the impact it has both on your physical body and your mind. And so usually I do that every February, but it was June of that year, and that was June 2020. So a few months into the pandemic and I just got into a really bad, unhealthy rot of you know, being in all the time and definitely drinking a lot of wine because I was in this long-distance relationship. So we would, like, watch movies, and it would be like we had the time difference. So it'd be like noon my time. Like, oh, it's like a movie, popcorn, and wine. Like, that was like what I was doing every noon. So it's just, like, feeling a little icky in general. So I did this-- so I was going to do the whole 30-day anyways. And then through Instagram or Facebook, I found your stuff and this challenge, and I was like, oh, I'm not drinking anyways. And I've always practiced yoga, but I had kind of not been in my most consistent practice at the time. So I was like, oh, perfect. And I remember talking to my mom about it, not even about the sobriety part. Do you think this is a scam? Whatever. What's the worst that can happen? So I did the challenge, and at the time, it was structured in a way that it was like just that you had your personal commitment of doing yoga every day and not drinking, which was pretty easy for me. I'd done kind of this sort of practice before. And then the other part of it was we had a group specifically of people that were doing the 30-day challenge, and we met once a week. That was the first time I ever really reflected on my drinking and also talked to others about it. And through the process of that, it really clicked to me. Like, what aspects of drinking were really harmful, harmful to me, and harmful you know, to others in my life. And yeah, like I said, it wasn't a way where I had come to that conclusion before stopping where I was like, oh, I've never been a person was like, oh, I need to cut back or whatever. I never had those thoughts before, but when I was going through this process where I was really mindful of it, I had to kind of be responsible for these actions that I had done up to then. And I realized so then going back to more at the beginning, I started trying alcohol and drinking very young when I was in 5th and 6th grade. So, like, elementary school. I remember telling that to our group and not, like, breaking my heart because now being a teacher and seeing kids, I literally work with fifth graders, and I know they do. I have a fifth-grader who told me stuff he does. And I'm like, oh, my God. And he's puny. And then I'm like, that was literally me, you know.
Alex
Yeah. Wow.
Tasha
I think that was really heartbreaking to realize. And then I kind of started to reflect that all my young drinking experiences were really about building relationships. That's kind of like how I became friends with a lot of people and, you know, like, going to parties in high school and then kind of up through College. It was definitely a big part of the culture. And beyond teaching internationally, you know, you're mostly friends with the people you work with. And so it would just be a really routine thing of working. And then on the weekends, like you know, wine and pizza, we had a game wine, pizza every Friday, and then just, like at work events and whatever. So it clicked to me that a lot of my social development was tied to drinking. And from age, from puberty essentially, through adulthood, I really, like, dependent on alcohol for pretty much all of my relationships. I couldn't think of a single relationship I had that hadn't had some sort of connection with alcohol. And of course, I have friends that I would also hang out with and not drink. It wasn't like that was the only thing that was binding us together. But once I stepped back, I realized that I wanted to build the skills to be able to build friendships and build relationships like they do all these things where it was really just about me, not about alcohol.
Alex
Wow. And I love how you kind of stumbled into it. And it's like a reflection that you had in hindsight because I think, I know there were elements of my time when I was drinking where I really wanted to quit, and I would be Googling it, but I think it was really only after I was, you know, ten days sober, two weeks sober, that I really had these similar reflections and insights that you did, you know? And I think that sometimes that's what happens is like, you take a break from it, and then all of a sudden it kind of sinks in and you realize like, wow, this is really not helping me become who I want to be.
Tasha
No, exactly. So, like, my dad has been sober my entire life. I'm 28, so he's probably been sober for over 30 years.
Alex
Wow.
Tasha
And it was almost something that I was kind of embarrassed by growing up I remember. Because all of the other-- we have a lot of neighborhood parties, and I was just very close with my neighborhood, and it would always be like the adults drinking. And I kind of felt like and my mom would, like, have wine coolers, but she's just not a big drinker either. So I always kind of felt embarrassed. Like, my parents were kind of on the outside of that.
Alex
Wow.
Tasha
Yeah. So it's interesting kind of like being older now and being able to see I can also see how this person's drinking affected their kids, you know.
Alex
Yeah. That is so amazing how deeply ingrained it is into our culture that you would notice that about your parents and feel embarrassed. You know, and that's so interesting. When I was growing up, my parents didn't really socialize that much, so I think I just wasn't around. I don't think I was around the parties enough to see it, but there was a lot of drinking at home you know, but I don't think I was around other parents enough to compare what my parents were doing as opposed to others, you know.
Tasha
Yeah. And then I think the other big piece of, like, once I started reflecting on that, like, realizing that and then seeing it on other people and then also reflecting on, like, I was in a relationship in College where my partner's drinking was a very big problem. And it's ultimately why we broke up. And just at the time thinking it was okay. At the time, I knew it was not okay because that's why we broke up, but for so long, like, making excuses about it and dealing with it, whereas now I know I would see them be like, absolutely not, which is part of me growing up and going through that experience and learning about that, but then also me just having a different mindset about alcohol.
Alex
Right. So tell me about once you quit drinking, how did your life change?
Tasha
It was such a transitionary period anyways, which I think is what made, like, my-- I think it made it very easy for me to let it go. So when I stopped, I was, like, temporarily living with my parents. I didn't know I was going, I was supposed to be going back to my job in Abuja. And then when I was living with my parents, I was really locked down. Like, I really didn't socialize much because Covid and my mom are immunocompromised. So we were, like, really locked down. My family doesn't drink, so it was a very easy transition for me, but I didn't tell my family and I don't even know-- I told them, like, a few weeks ago at Thanksgiving. Like, my family didn't realize, and I don't know what that's about, but I slowly started getting out more, but it was all kind of like piece by piece. And I went and I stayed with my friend in Turkey for a while, and she was a close friend, and it was like we'd go and grab drinks and she would get a drink, and I wouldn't like it wasn't a big deal ever. And we weren't partying. And I just didn't have a lot of pressure. And then when I moved back here, it wasn't more challenging to keep up the drinking, but I had to really reflect on what I was doing and that pretty much you know, all of my friends here from before were really party friends. And there was also distance since I hadn't lived here for a while. So if I want to go back with those friends, that also would have been an effort because I had just been distanced for a while. But I had to be really mindful about building friendships and who I was putting effort into building friendships with, which was really challenging. I don't know, for anyone who moved somewhere new. And even though it wasn't new, I was reconnecting with old friends. But I think because it was like this transition, it made it easy to-- like, I guess I told people, like, yeah, I stopped drinking, whatever. And then the people that I had chosen to be friends with were not huge partiers, and it just was never an issue. And people were really supportive. It's definitely-- and then it's like partially the pandemic because when I was in Abuja, we were partying every weekend, and that was very much the culture there. And it's like if I had gone back there, would I still be doing that? Maybe not because of the pandemic. And so that culture shift because of the situation has also been really helpful.
Alex
Right.
Tasha
So my biggest pride or what's changed the most in me since stopping the drinking is that friendship piece. And I know that's what I was talking a lot about and reflecting on why? I was thinking that drinking was such a problem. I've made so many friends in this past year that have all been like, because it's just been me, like my genuine, authentic self because the alcohol has been removed from the picture. And I've made a lot of friends at parties where other people have been drinking. And I'm really comfortable being out, however, puts in this piece of follow up that was really missing before, because when you're drinking and you are at a party and you're vulnerable and sharing stuff with people that are inappropriate, and then you're embarrassed or you don't want to see them ever again. There's just no authentic connection where it's like a lot of the friendships I've made, it's like, okay, there's just something a little deeper and genuine there because there isn't that alcohol filter, I don't know how to say. So then it just leads to more follow-up.
Alex
Yeah, absolutely. It's so true. Because when you are sober, your choices are intentional and your connection is authentic. And I totally, totally agree with that. It's like you just have these deep friendships. Honestly, I was thinking as you were talking, it's so weird to me that we've never met in person because I just feel like I know you so well now. And you know, these friendships and these connections as part of our you know, sober community, it's the same type of thing. It's just built on so much like realness to it.
Tasha
Exactly. It's funny because there are some people that I talk about this group with, but I pretty much frame it in yoga because people understand yoga better. And I don't share about, like, my sobriety so much. Like, I tell people I don't drink, but I don't really tell the story or what I do for it unless they ask. But yeah, to be like, oh, I have all these friends online, and I'm like, but I feel connected to you all. And I think something that we talked a lot about when we started this group and I just remember or when I joined this group is like we're talking a lot about how we define ourselves as, like, because I remember at first, like, you would always say alcohol-free. And people in our group really stayed away from the term sober. And I feel like it's viewed as such a deficit. And as I said, how I viewed it in my dad. And whereas it's like the reality of it is it honestly does feel like such an opposite-- deficit. I'm literally an English teacher, and I don't know what it is, but it's really additive. And yeah, having these rich groups and friendships in a way that you know, I feel like given the people that I've known in my life who have gone through AA and these different things where I really had a judgment or stigma about it, because it just felt like really-- I see people who are really connected on each other, but it felt very dependent, and I felt, like, very cautious of that. And so I don't think I would have ever sought something like that out. Whereas the group that we formed here from day one was always like, yeah, just really genuine connections.
Alex
Absolutely. You know, I spent time with someone today who she described it as I'm choosing not to drink. That was how she just kept saying, like, I choose not to drink. And I love that because she is really putting it in. It's like positioning it from a place of power where it's like she is making an active choice to not drink. And you're right that rather than using the term sober, which you know, for every person, they can choose their own word. But sober does have that association of like, oh, you have to be sober, and you're like, no, I'm choosing this.
Tasha
Well, I think for me too, I get really turned off by rules. Like, if I'm an authority, there's like, one person who's leading something or there are certain rules you have to follow. I really resist against that. And I feel like that's the only way that sobriety has been successful for me because it's always been like, I literally stumbled into it. But then I was like, I like this. And I want to keep living in this way, in the same way, that I like doing yoga, and yoga makes me feel good, so I want to keep doing it and other lifestyle choices.
Alex
Yeah. Absolutely.
Tasha
Switching that perspective from really additive to other. I think that really limits people from entering sobriety because they're scared of missing out on things and not focusing on what they would gain.
Alex
Totally.
Tasha
Yeah. I'll catch myself doing that all the time, too, of like, oh, this imagine a vacation where I'd be in a vineyard and all this stuff, and I'm like, I can still do that experience also, you know. Yeah. Our mind really holds onto things, even if they're just perceived.
Alex
So tell me about what you're doing now. I know you're a teacher, but you're also kind of building some other things on the side. So tell me a bit about that.
Tasha
Yeah. So I was just telling Alex before we started chatting today that I just got accepted into a grad program for creative writing, creative writing, nonfiction. So I'm really excited about that. And then it also has a piece to it that is kind of like a newer field called narrative medicine. So my dream is to kind of build this writing practice that will kind of integrate theories of literature and writing, journaling, and yoga into a kind of more of a healing style course. I think a lot of people really know and know that there are benefits to writing that are like, healing, but, you know, there's not a lot of structured courses or groups that I've seen. It's really usually like writing in order to build the skill of writing, not like writing for self-healing and just, like feeling good. So that's one thing I'm working on. And so I'm hoping my studies will help me to build that practice. And Alex has been a great coach through that process. So check her out. What else? I'm working on a podcast with friends also. So also learning a lot from what you're doing over here. And the idea around that is kind of about multilingual people and their experience kind of navigating between different languages and in totally different contexts. Also kind of people sharing their story-type project. And apart from that, just working on getting out of the cold, making moves into the next year, and then also just appreciating and enjoying my life while I'm here.
Alex
Amazing. It's so incredible. And it's been so cool to just kind of see your journey over the past, however long we've known each other now a year and a half. And I'm super excited to hear what's to come with your new program and podcast and business and all of that.
Tasha
Yes. Thank you so much. Like I said, I'm not very vocal about sobriety, but I definitely know that taking that piece out of my life and letting it open space for, like, it definitely open space for creativity and other things that just really were missing. So I'm really grateful for that, for sure.
Alex
So I have one more question for you. If you had any piece of advice or any wisdom for someone that is curious about being alcohol-free, what would you suggest?
Tasha
I think just try it. Everyone can figure it out, what works for them and what doesn't. And I think you know like you said, you were like, Googling how to do it and you did all this research and what I think we were both saying was what kind of made it solidified, was the actual doing it, and then reflecting on it. So I mean, there's definitely, like a lot of little pieces like I did a lot of learning. We used to do book club so I remember reading and actually learning a lot of information that really helped solidify things and then the community, having all of these little pieces of yoga, like all of it, solidified it for me but I definitely want to be down here, to begin with, and just tried it to begin.
Alex
Yeah, I love it. So simple. Just try it. Yeah. Amazing. Well, Tasha, thank you so much for coming to the show. It was really lovely to sit down and hear your story and your experience and just connect and chat. I'm really, really grateful for your friendship and being part of the community, so thank you.
Tasha
Thank you. I love this group and I love everything we do here and love working with you and being your friend also. Thank you.
Alex
And if anyone is listening, Tasha teaches yoga for the Mindful Life Practice. She teaches in the Eastern standard time zone in the evening. So check out one of her classes next season. Our new winter season starts in January.
Tasha
Yes, for sure. I would love to have you. We're a pretty chill class, so super fun.
Alex
All right, take care and we'll catch up soon.
Tasha
Exactly. Happy new year.
Alex
You, too.
Tasha
Bye.
Alex
Bye. Outro
Hi friend, thank you so much for listening to this episode of "Sober Yoga Girl" podcast. This community would not exist without you, so thank you for being here. It would be massively helpful if you subscribe to this show and leave a review so that we can reach more people. And if we haven't met yet in real life, please come hop on Zoom at "The Mindful Life Practice" because the opposite of addiction is connection. Sending you love and light wherever you are in the world.